Kristin Cavallari on why her divorce from Jay Cutler was the 'best thing' for her: 'It just really jump-started my journey on self-love'

·3-min read

Kristin Cavallari is opening up about learning to love herself.

The Hills alum, 35, appeared on Lewis Howes’ podcast The School of Greatness this week, where she discussed everything from parenting to finding confidence in herself. She spoke about making her reality TV debut as a teenager and how that taught her how to navigate hearing criticism from strangers. It's a skill, she explained, that she now can pass down to her three children, who she shares with ex-husband Jay Cutler.

Kristin Cavallari talks about self love, confidence and her divorce. (Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
Kristin Cavallari talks about self-love, confidence and her divorce. (Photo: Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

"I'm not sitting here trying to tear people down, because I'm happy in my life," she told Howes. "So what I realize is that people who are constantly trying to tear people down or judging them, that speaks highly of them and not so much about me. I will say, the one good thing about social media and being in the press, now that I have kids, is that I'm able to have that conversation with my kids. I'm looking at this stuff as an opportunity. If I wasn't in the press, I would never be having that conversation with my kids until they were older and on social media dealing with some of that stuff. Where now, I'm laying little nuggets in their head, getting the foundation, having real conversations with them about people in general ... 'The only time people tear you down is when they are insecure and dealing their own issues.'"

Cavallari noted that one of the pieces of feedback she got as a teenager on Laguna Beach was that she was "the confident girl." Though she may be known by fans for her snappy one-liners and queen bee behavior, she said that her TV show persona masked how she was really feeling inside.

"People couldn't believe I was so confident for my age," she said. "When I watch it back now, I don't see someone who is confident at all. I actually see someone who is extremely insecure. So it's kind of funny that that's what people saw because I was the one always trying to tear other people down or talking s*** ... and that's an insecurity. That's not being confident. I would have probably given myself a little bit more self-love back then."

The Uncommon James founder shared that she "didn't learn how to love myself fully until probably the last three years or so," adding that, "my kids have inspired me to become the best version of myself."

"I can only be as good to my kids as I am to myself. If I'm empty, I have nothing to give them," she explained. "Being able to be energized and love myself so that I can really love on my kids and support them and encourage them, that's the most important thing."

She added that her divorce from former NFL player Cutler, who she split from in 2020, was both the "scariest" and "best thing" she had ever done.

"That has really jump-started my journey on self-love," Cavallari said.

This isn't the first time the Very Cavallari alum has shared that she's feeling better than ever. This week, she posted a pic to Instagram of herself in a black bikini, along with a message about feeling good in her skin.

"I work out really hard and am dedicated to a healthy lifestyle," she wrote in her Instagram caption, "and I think just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I can't be proud of my body and be comfortable in my skin."

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