“I just want my little girl to feel confident and beautiful”: Dad Says His Wife’s Parenting Ways Are Hurting Their Daughter

Jia Ling
·6-min read

While all parents want the best for their children, individuals are inherently different and that could translate into the way they bring up their kids.

For one father—just like the separation between oil and water—it has come to light that he is unable to accept how his wife is parenting their 5-year-old daughter.

Dad Says His Wife’s Parenting Ways is Hurting Their Daughter

Taking to Reddit (as u/throwradec) to share his woes and to seek advice, the dad shares that his wife is “not putting [their daughter’s] feelings and concerns first”.

Image source: Reddit screengrab from u/throwradec

He revealed that his 5-year-old daughter has been diagnosed with Alopecia—a condition where the immune system attacks the hair follicles, resulting in hair loss.

“There are huge patches on the top of her head that are completely bald now,” he says while stating that there is “no cure”.

Although there are available treatment options, he said he and his wife consider them “risky” as their daughter is still very young.

According to him, his daughter has become more aware of her condition and wishes to have hair just like other little girls her age.

At home, the 5-year-old has a doll that has different wigs—one that she loves playing with as well as being able to switch the wigs around.

“She spends a lot of time with her cousins and little girl friends that are [of] similar ages and she’s mentioned to me countless times that she wishes she had their hair,” the dad wrote.

In addition, the dad states that children who meet his daughter for the first time during playdates would often ask about her hair.

In response, his daughter would simply explain the disease as it is—according to what her mother has taught. He says she then “acts shy” for the rest of the time spent there.

“My wife believes that the best thing to do about her hair loss is to completely ignore it, and just mention what alopecia is to anyone who asks about her hair,” he adds.

In addition, his wife would not allow their daughter to get a wig like her dolly, despite her daughter being concerned about the hair loss. His wife’s rationale? That their daughter is “just as beautiful as anyone else”, thus not needing one.

While the dad shared his wife’s sentiments in teaching their child “to love who they are”, his perspective changed after their daughter expressed her concerns.

“If she wants a wig or hats or whatever to feel ‘normal’ then I want to do that for her (sic),” he wrote. “I just want my little girl to feel confident and beautiful.”

Alopecia in Children: What Is It?

Image source: iStock

Hair loss, or alopecia, happens not only in adults but in children as well.

It is an autoimmune disease whereby the immune system attacks the follicles from which hair grows. The disease may occur due to congenital or acquired conditions.

But whether it is having thinning hair or distinct bald spots, hair loss can be an unnerving experience.

Alopecia can present itself in different forms, which is dependent on the pattern of hair loss:

  • Alopecia areata (bald patches form on the child’s scalp)

It typically presents itself as a circular patch with normal-appearing scalp skin. In some cases, it can further develop as hair loss in the eyebrows, eyelashes, and face, as well as other parts of the body.

The condition can also develop slowly and resurface after years between its occurrence. Children with alopecia areata may also become totally bald.

Doctors usually diagnose alopecia areata by examining the child’s scalp. In doing so, they may remove a few hairs for examination under a microscope, which would see exclamation point hairs, yellow dots, and black dots.

  • Alopecia totalis (all the hair on the scalp falls out)

Alopecia totalis involves the complete loss of all head hair—a more severe form of alopecia areata.

It may start as alopecia areata, with small patches of hair loss. Over time, these patches spread until the entire head becomes bald.

  • Alopecia universalis (all the hair on the body falls out)

The most severe form of alopecia areata comes in the form of alopecia universalis, causing complete hair loss over the entire body.

The symptoms include hair loss in these areas: body hair, eyebrows, scalp hair, eyelashes and may occur on the pubic area and inside the nose.

Treatment for Alopecia Areata

While there is no cure for alopecia areata, there are some available treatments to kickstart the process of regrowing hair.

Here are some ways to slow down the disease and help regrow hair:

  • Corticosteroid cream, lotion, or ointment

  • Minoxidil

Available as an over-the-counter treatment, it can be applied twice daily to the scalp, eyebrows, and beard. It is said to be relatively safe and can take a year to see results.

It may be useful for people with limited alopecia areata.

  • Anthralin — a drug that irritates the skin in order to trigger hair regrowth

With a suitable form of treatment, most children with alopecia areata will regrow their hair within a year.

However, due to the unpredictable nature of the condition, one may require taking to trial and error to find a suitable treatment. And for some, the hair loss may worsen even with treatment.

Note: Before administering any medical product, one should always seek medical advice from a health professional.

Natural treatments for Alopecia Areata

Alternative therapies to treat the condition may be popular among some with alopecia areata.

They include:

  • Low-level laser therapy (LLLT)

  • Aromatherapy

  • Acupuncture

  • Taking probiotics and vitamins such as zinc and biotin

  • Rubbing onion juice onto the scalp

  • Massaging the scalp

  • Aloe vera drinks

  • Topical gels

  • Essential oils such as tea tree, rosemary, lavender, and peppermint

  • Other oils, like coconut, castor, olive, and jojoba

  • A restrictive diet that mainly includes meats and vegetables

  • Herbal supplements such as ginseng, green tea, and Chinese hibiscus

However, it should be noted that these treatments have yet to be tested in clinical trials thus their effectiveness remain unknown.

And when it comes to taking supplements such as herbal or vitamin supplements, always be sure to speak to your health professional beforehand. The claims on the labels from such supplements may sometimes be inaccurate or misleading.


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The post “I just want my little girl to feel confident and beautiful”: Dad Says His Wife’s Parenting Ways Are Hurting Their Daughter appeared first on theAsianparent - Your Guide to Pregnancy, Baby & Raising Kids.