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As if we didn’t already know this was the deal, guess who just so happened to be inside Mallard? Yep, Duck Dynasty’s Willie Robertson—bc duh!!!! Hear a little more about his experience inside the sweaty steam box that is Mallard in his unmasked interview.
Things I never thought I’d have to endure in my lifetime: watching a giant duck with a human trapped inside it wear a top hat and sing “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.” Yet here we are. In a sign that the apocalypse is surely impending, something called the Mallard has taken up residence on The Masked Singer season 6, and it basically looks like Timothée Chalamet in the new Willy Wonka origin story, only a duck.
The Mallard most recently performed on Wednesday, November 3rd’s episode of The Masked Singer, with another performance set for tonight—for what I can only pray will be the last time. But if this quacking gentleman bird should return for another episode, it’s only right that we spend a minute figuring out what celebrity is lurking underneath his feathers. And his bedazzled double-breasted blazer, because this Mallard is nothing if not stylish.
Thus far, The Masked Singer has inflicted only two Mallard clue packages upon us, which is probably for the best. You can watch them below, but if that’s simply too much to ask (understandable), here’s what we learned:
The Mallard is “living the high life” and claims to have a best-selling book and platinum album.
We see a stage coach and an old-timey town.
We see the Mallard sip on some tea.
The Mallard tells us that he grew up “always hustling.”
We see a women’s leather shoe (does the Mallard have a foot/flipper fetish, I’m scared).
One of the Mallard’s first businesses was selling…worms.
We see a sign that says “The Mallard…He Ain’t No Quack!”
We’re informed that the Mallard “found the human jute box on a school bus.”
There’s some reference to putting a quarter in the Mallard’s armpit to make him sing, which has upset me deeply.
His “BFF” is Chris Pratt.
We see a tiny deer statue.
He met his wife in fourth grade and says it was love at first sight. Aww.
Proposed to his wife on a moonlight hike.
Mallard’s wife has been at all of his performances.
There’s another mention of sweet tea.
Rose to fame thanks to a famous family—then there’s a close-up of a key? An L wrench?
Mallard says he considers Luke Bryan family and that years prior, Luke asked Mallard to get on stage and sing “Play Something Country” but he didn’t know the words.
Honestly, this might be some of the most confusing Masked Singer clue packages yet, so let’s turn our attention to the Mallard’s singing voice. I’m so sorry to do this to you, but here’s the aforementioned video of the Mallard singing “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.”
Mallard also performed a rendition of Flo Rida’s banger “My House.”
And his most recent performance was of “Play Something Country” by Brooks & Dunn:
Pretty much the entire Masked Singer fan base is in agreement that the Mallard is Willie Robertson from Duck Dynasty. I mean, it’s right there in the name. Although please note that a LOT of fans are very upset due to the fact that the Mallard is clearly a “wood duck” and not a “mallard,” but I digress.
Anyway, a bunch of the clues fit—including the “BFF Chris Pratt” mention, because yep, Chris and Willie are friends. In fact, Chris once told Nola.com, “I had never been to New Orleans before. But I spent some time with my friend Willie up in Monroe—Willie Robertson (of Duck Dynasty) and all of his buddies are up there. We went up there and did some frog hunting and going around on the bayou. So I got to experience the country, got to do a bunch of redfishing. It’s just awesome, man.”
On top of that, Willie has multiple books out about, like, hunting and whatnot, and yes, he even has a Christmas album. AND AND AND: His first job was at a worm farm. Oh, and if that’s not enough for you, Willie has also told that “human jute box” story before, so there is literally no way the Mallard isn’t him. It’s just a fact!!!!
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