I'm an Adult and I Still Sleep With a Stuffed Animal
The best guy I've ever had in my bed is named Whisper. He's a teddy bear. I'm 28 years old, and I reach for him whenever I'm sad, sick, or heartbroken. Friends laugh at him, but according to psychologists, a comfort object is just that: comforting.
"Transitional objects that remind adults of a simpler childhood time are a part of our essence," says Stuart Brown, MD, founder of the National Institute for Play and author of Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. "That can be suppressed or lost in adulthood, but the feelings have traction our whole lifetime."
Still, a lot of us feel shame or embarrassment about the inability to let go. Bailey*, a 28-year-old social-media manager from Los Angeles, sleeps with her stuffed dog, Jingles. More specifically, she sleeps with just Jingles's head tucked in her pillowcase. In 2007, a real dog decapitated Jingles while Bailey was on vacation (yes, stuffed animals travel too). "My boyfriend thinks Jingles is an abomination. I always lie and say I threw him out. When he finds him, I hide him again. Jingles is comforting to me, which is hilarious because he is a half-headed dog with one ear and no body attached. He should be traumatizing or sad, but he's neither."
It isn't just a female thing. Alex, 30, who runs a food-labeling business that he founded, says his upcoming wedding has made him question the role his Pound Puppy will have in his future. "If I have kids, I don't know what I will do," he says. "But what's wrong with parents having stuffed animals? I don't think sleeping with him is emotional at this point - Pound Puppy is just part of the bed." As is his wife's stuffed panda.
Unlike the wine bottle or kettlebell, a stuffed animal conjures an easier time when we weren't overwhelmed by such adult things as a horrible boss or worrying about our thighs. But what to do with our childhood buddies when it's time for, you know … adult time?
Libby, 27, a digital-content manager who is single, hides her dog, Sammy, before she leaves for a date. "There have been a handful of times when I've brought someone home unexpectedly, and I've had to quickly toss Sammy in the corner, under my bed, or in the closet," she says.
While Dr. Brown says adults who sleep with a childhood toy or security blanket are not the majority, the habit is well within the range of normal. You can't put an age limit on the need for comfort. Visit a nursing home sometime and you'll likely find a stuffed animal in many a bed.
As for my Whisper: In college, I kept him propped on my pillow. He was crucial for those moments when the future felt too daunting (or a hangover got the better of me). Boyfriends just had to deal. Now he lives in a Marc by Marc Jacobs duffel under my bed - a break-in-case-of-emergency situation of sorts. Out of sight, always there. My life is stable enough that I no longer feel the need to reach for him on the regular. Plus, it's easier to bring guys home. Only when things get serious do I introduce them to my main squeeze.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of the snugglers.
This article was originally published as "Yes, I Still Sleep With a Stuffed Animal" in the September 2016 issue of Cosmopolitan.
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