A "Housecooling" Party Is the Best Way to Celebrate the End of an Era
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When Julie Bogen and her family received their marching orders in 2020—in the form of a military transfer from Silver Springs, Maryland to Pensacola—they knew it would be difficult to leave the community where they had built a village of support for their young family. They loved their home, but the connections mattered more. “It was really less about the house and more about the fact that we wanted to see all our friends and family,” says Bogen, a writer and editor now based in San Diego. “We had made a lot of friends in the community.”
They wanted a chance to toast their home one last time before relocating a thousand miles away. So, they threw a house cooling party for 100 of their closest friends—classmates, coworkers, moms from local parenting meetups, as well as family members who lived close to the D.C. metro area.
Bogen’s family is one of a large group of Americans who move each year—about 12 percent. And while many of those moves are local, the U.S. Census Bureau found that about 8.2 million Americans relocated to a different state in 2022, an increase over previous years. More than half of Americans still live within an hour’s driving distance of extended family, but Pew Research found this factor is less important to younger people than it was to their parents’ generation. These changing trends mean that more people each year are making big moves that may require an equally big goodbye.
For Bogen’s family, they went with a low-key house cooling party where friends came and went throughout the day. “It was casual in that we served burgers and hot dogs, and people brought chips and dips,” she recalls. Her husband smoked a large pork butt as the party rolled on. “It was an absolutely obscene amount of food,” she laughs. Over the course of the day, kids ran through the backyard, adults hung out and talked, and the family found the closure they needed to begin a new chapter.
Long-distance relocations like Bogen’s are hard, but local moves can trigger deep feelings, too. Realtor Cheryl McFarland says she’s walked many families through parting with a home that had been in their family for generations, and it’s an emotional process for most sellers. “Is it leaving behind the house? Is it leaving behind their memories? What are their emotions?” McFarland says.
McFarland has observed that older clients are often just as emotional about purging items and furniture as they are about leaving their beloved home. For people who spent decades accumulating or preserving heirlooms, downsizing can be difficult. She often proposes a house cooling event in the form of a “take my stuff” party. Family and friends come to say goodbye as they walk through the home and choose trinkets, furniture, or sentimental items to take with them. Not only does it provide closure for the mover, parting with items is easier they know their treasures are leaving with a loved one.
More than anything, these kind of events help her clients begin a new chapter, says McFarland. “I think that it gives them the opportunity to say goodbye to a lot of people in a short period of crime, rather than dragging it on.” McFarland loves to attend herself, and says she enjoys meeting the friends and family of her clients—who typically become friends as well by the end of the move. She even encourages them to open their pantries up to guests. “Once the party is over, don’t put that back in the fridge. Take it with you,” she laughs. “But please check the expiration date.”
These casual take-my-stuff barbecues and potlucks help individuals transition to a new home, but some people choose to kick things up a notch according to Luke Seddon, CEO of H2 Catering Equipment.Through his years of experience in the catering industry, Seddon has been a part of several elaborate house cooling parties—though one in particular stands out.
After 20 years in her home, a client of Seddon's wanted to create the perfect tableau to say goodbye. She chose to recreate her family’s most beloved meals to pay a tribute to the home’s long history of family gatherings, and Seddon’s team worked with her every step of the way. “The decor incorporated subtle, meaningful elements like framed photographs, handwritten menus featuring recipes passed down through generations, and table settings that mirrored her family traditions,” says Seddon. “We even had a guest book for attendees to leave heartfelt messages.”
While this was a more elaborate event, Seddon says the impetus behind house cooling parties is the same at every price point. “It could be as simple as incorporating favorite recipes, hanging photo collages of past gatherings, or inviting loved ones to share personal stories.” He encourages guests and residents at a house cooling party to take some time to share memories about times in the home, since moves are about far more than just brick-and-mortar buildings. “Even with a modest budget, these touches can create an atmosphere that feels deeply meaningful.”
For all of these reasons and more, Darlene Yanakos floated the idea of a house cooling party to her husband—and the current tenants of their Pittsburgh condo. When the couple moved across the city in 2017, they kept their first home together as a rental unit. “We were in that space while we were in our mid-twenties to mid-thirties, so we threw a lot of really epic parties and we had really memorable parts of our lives there,” she says.
The unit, which is located in a renovated Catholic school, has a unique history, and the current tenants have expressed interest in buying the condo. But Yanakos has got her eye on just one more shindig. “The primary reason we are considering the party is because we have had so many epic ones there that we thought we would sort of close out that chapter by doing it,” she laughs. “The renters said we can come back as often as we like, including to throw a party, which I thought was very cool.”
As Bogen thinks back on their own party, she encourages others like Yanakos to give their own homes a proper send-off when it’s time to say goodbye.
“It felt like something out of a Hallmark movie,” she recalls with a smile. “Everyone was just enjoying each other's company…and even making new connections. The children were running through the yard shrieking and laughing. It was very Americana and very emotional, and just did our final moments at the house justice.”
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