Whether you’ve been together for a year or 20, you need a few ingredients to keep the flame of love burning. Five couples share their tried and tested ways of spicing up their relationships.
“Act as if you’re strangers in a public place.” —Gerard, 38 and Tina, 37; married 8 years
Once a month the two choose a place—a club, restaurant, or bar—preferably a place they’ve never been to—and pretend that they’ve never met before. “We go there separately, that way we can seek each other out through the crowd,” says Tina a fitness instructor and mom to their two kids. “The anticipation of one coming up to the other with some sort of pick-up line is exciting,” shares Gerard, an IT consultant. Once one person starts the conversation and establishes his or her character, the other plays along and follows suit, creating his or her role on the spot. “Sometimes we can keep the charade for the entire night, and naturally we go home together and have great sex. But other times one of us cracks up early in to the role playing, and we end up reverting to our true selves, which is great, too,” says Gerard.
“Go to a motel!” —Adrienne, 30 and Vincent, 32; married 2 years
“Even if you have your own place, being in a motel feels kind of naughty. You can make all the noise you want without worrying about the neighbors,” says Adrienne, a writer. “Plus: mirrors!” It doesn’t even have to be a motel, adds Vincent, who says they have brought their lovemaking into the car. “It’s reminiscent of our dating days, so that makes it exciting. Because of the restricted room, we usually take the action into the bedroom where there’s more space,” says Vincent.
“Have great sex.” —George, 53 and Sandra, 50; together for 30 years
The two share an advertising business and are constantly together—at pre-production meetings with clients, photo shoots, event launches, or at home with their kids and young grand children who come to visit—you’d think they’d be sick of each other’s company. “How can you be sick of someone who you just had mind-blowing sex with this morning?” says Sandra as George laughs in the background. “We’ve been together for a long time, and we know what the other one likes, hates, and loves, so we work with those tips in mind and use them on each other in bed, in the bathroom airplane, in a fire exit—wherever!” adds George.
“Don’t go all the way!” —Kim, 28 and Gio, 28; married one year
Although they’ve been married only one year, the two have been high school sweethearts. “We waited until we were married before having sex,” shares Kim, a call center trainer. When they were still dating, the two would kiss on Kim’s parents’ living room couch for hours, then Gio would go home. “This went on for years, so when we finally got married, sex was so exciting for the both of us,” recalls Gio. “There are days when we go back to just kissing for hours, this time on our own couch, and just like in high school and college, I stop him, and we just cuddle,” says Kim. “The next day, however, I make up for it!” laughs Gio.
“Let your guy help in the housework.”
—Francis, 42 and Frances, 43; married ten years
A recent American study showed that men who did house chores got less sex. Men who did the traditionally women’s chores, according to this study, appeared less masculine and therefore less attractive to their partners. “That’s not the case in our relationship,” argues Frances, a housewife. “I love it when my husband helps around the house. It shows that he supports me and is in this relationship for the long haul. I also think that when my husband trades in his jeans for an apron, he becomes even sexier,” says the mother of three.
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