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Hey, Everyone, It’s Still Okay to Brag About Your Life—You Just Have to Do It Right

Photo credit: Khadija Horton
Photo credit: Khadija Horton

From Cosmopolitan

Meredith Fineman is an author, entrepreneur, writer, and speaker. She is the author of Brag Better: Master the Art of Fearless Self-Promotion and the founder of FinePoint, a consultancy that focuses on visibility and voice.


We are in a time that is uniquely hard, scary, and dire. A lot of my clients or friends come to me worried that talking about their wins amid so much death and economic hardship is tacky as hell. But it’s not—well, as long as you do it the right way.

Photo credit: Mariah Miranda
Photo credit: Mariah Miranda

A lot of stuff (to put it literally as nice as possible) sucks right now. But if you’ve got a job or a dream, you’ve got to continue with it AND be proud of it. To be sort of blunt: Life beyond the pandemic exists. That’s why your book, speech, brand, or professional accomplishments deserve attention—regardless of what’s going on in the world.

That said, if the idea of singing your own praises freaks you out now more than ever, I get it. After spending the past decade teaching The Qualified Quiet—or people who have done the work but don’t know how to talk about it—to brag, I’ve learned that “flexing” can make people feel uncomfortable. Thing is, once they understand that sharing their work matters and leads to being rewarded for their efforts, it gets a lot less awkward.

Let me break this down a bit. We all know someone at work or in life who gets more praise, money, or opportunity while doing less. And that might be because they’re just better at communicating their wins. Bragging is simply stating facts about your work, strategically and cohesively, to advance your career or goals—regardless of your title or seniority level.

If you don’t share your achievements with your boss, colleagues, or the greater public, you’re going to have a lot harder time getting rewarded for it—and who is that helping?

So how the hell do you even brag without making it weird? Follow these steps.

First, know that your voice is worthy.

Your accomplishments are worth talking about! You don’t have to win a big shiny award to communicate the things you’re proud of to people or gatekeepers who could help you reach the next step, like a promotion, a raise, a new job title, or whatever you’re aiming for.

Bragging Better is deeply tied to impostor syndrome, or the idea that you aren’t actually qualified for the job or gig you have and that everyone will find out eventually. Fear of bragging hits the same nerve, that maybe you don’t deserve recognition or your work isn’t that great or you’ll just be annoying and people will hate you. Although these are all anxiety-based, irrational fears, that fact doesn’t make them less scary.

However, I like to tell my clients, organizations I train, or anyone who will listen that being scared is a sign that they’re good at their jobs. Someone who is mediocre isn’t worried because they lack the self-awareness required for impostor syndrome. I believe that fear is a key ingredient in being great at your gig. The same goes for fears of bragging too much: Anyone who overdoes it, can’t read a room, or never promotes anyone else (bragging is absolutely a team sport) is not the one whose accomplishments are actually something to talk about.

Then accept that bragging is just part of being good at what you do.

No matter what you’re doing, it’s part of your job to report your good work to those around you. We’re in our own heads all day, thinking that those around us know what we do. But that’s not true—everyone is focused on their own work and their own problems. Bragging not only shows the good work you’re doing, but it also inspires others to do their work better. Because of that, showing what you’ve done makes you a better teammate, manager, and employee too.

Finally, make it a priority to show the good stuff you’ve done.

The pandemic has changed the way we work, for sure. And if your boss needed to hear your wins before, she certainly needs to know about them now. You can’t drop by your colleague’s desk and ask if they will echo a sentiment of yours in a meeting or get quick feedback. We’ve lost all chances for a brief encounter, a conversation with an acquaintance, or being in the right place at the right time. That means you have to brag (state facts about your work, strategically and cohesively) more directly than ever before.

This might mean:

  1. Asking your boss the best way to communicate your wins to them. (If your boss loves reports and you give her your work over the phone, it’s not as effective.)

  2. Calling a friend to ask them to celebrate your win with you.

  3. Writing down all the things you’re up to and sharing them with the people who matter.

  4. Contacting people outside your network to spread the word. (Like contacting a conference organizer to ask if you could be included in an upcoming virtual panel.)

No matter how you show what you’re made of, do it proudly. You got this!

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