Here's what to do when you're overwhelmed by extreme emotions
The stresses and vagaries of life can sometimes get to us and cause extreme emotions such as anger or depression. However, there are some techniques we can use to manage our emotions and prevent them from overwhelming us.
Your emotions play a key role in your body’s information system and tell you what is important to you and what you need in any particular situation. Emotions also help you to connect to others, and according to evolutionary theory, they serve to keep you safe against threats in your environment.
“Typically anger tells us that our rights, privileges or what we value have been infringed upon and it gears us to stand up or protect what we value. Sadness is trying to tell us that we have lost what we hold close to our heart; it helps us to slow down, reflect and nurse our loss,” explains Serene Wong, Senior Psychologist at Singapore General Hospital’s Department of Psychology.
Emotions need to be heard and they also need to be appropriately managed. The ability to effectively manage your emotions in difficult circumstances, and return to a state of well-being is known as emotional resilience.
“Generally speaking, relaxation techniques, stress management and emotion regulation help to contribute to emotional resilience,” says Wong. “Identifying what we stand for, what we cherish in life also helps to build our emotional resilience. In times of difficulties, these hopes, dreams, values would be what drives and sustains us along our path.”
4 ways to manage intense emotions
Label your emotions: Pause to identify and label your emotions. This allows you to distance yourself from them, and observe them, instead of getting caught up in them.
Relax: It’s important to calm your mind and body down when you are in the grip of intense emotion. You can do this in a variety of ways such as progressive muscle relaxation, stretching, yoga, and breathing exercises.
Breathing is highly effective in regulating your emotions and calming you down. “For some people, deep breathing works. For others, just following their breath works. Or it could be breathing from your diaphragm,” says Wong.
Reflect on what your emotion is telling you: Once you have calmed down and are able to cope with your emotion, ask yourself what the emotion is trying to tell you and what you want from the situation.
Identify your triggers: When you identify the situation, event or interpersonal interaction that has triggered your emotions, you can find ways to minimise or modify its impact on you.
“For instance, a time-out from the other person or by ourselves may be helpful in some situations,” says Wong.
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