Should you help your child with their homework?

Rare is the school project that hasn't seen a little parental input. Whether supplying a few facts on a history report, sharpening the pencils for a portfolio of art, or building a perfectly scaled-down working copy of the Mars Exploration Rover from recycled almond milk cartons while your child mooches about on social media, we've all been there.

But how much good are you doing your child by helping with school projects, or indeed, any kind of homework? Is it best to let youngsters get on with it alone or should you sit on their shoulder, chipping in as necessary?

"It's the perennial concern," agrees Andy Wiggins, director of teaching and learning at Bedales Prep School, Dunhurst, Hampshire: "how much should parents help, if at all?"

First, you have to consider why prep is set, he explains. "Homework has three purposes: consolidating or extending the learning that has already taken place in class; giving learners the opportunity to explore or enhance their independence (hopefully beyond the ability to 'Google' well); and as an exercise in applying skills and mastering the discipline of managing workload and deadlines."

So where do parents fit in? "The simple answer," Wiggins says, "is ideally not at all. I would always argue that a 'lost' weekend where a parent is over-teaching what the child supposedly knows in order to complete a homework task is a sign that the child has deep misunderstandings. As professionals, it is up to teachers to unpick this and explore new avenues for that learner - it is what we are trained to do, and the very core of our job."

He adds: "I have always maintained that there is a set limit to homework time, and if a child cannot complete their work in that time (give or take 10 minutes) then they should stop. I want to see an accurate reflection of the child's work. If it is incomplete despite the best working conditions and optimal effort, then the failing is mine in the setting of the work."

But can parents let go that easily? Eddy Chan, 47, believes it is important to find the time to encourage and support his three children, Alice, 13, Christopher, 11, and Nicholas, six, when they bring work home. And Chan, who lives with his wife Maria, 38, in Cobham, Surrey, where he runs the online educational support service schoolexams.co.uk, admits it's easy to get the balance wrong between helping and taking over.

"We all know those nights," he says, "when you get home from work tired and your child is struggling with something. It is so easy to almost fall into the trap of saying, 'Here, I'll take over.'

"But that's so counterproductive. The whole idea of homework is that children need to complete it themselves - and if they can't, it shows teachers where the failings in their knowledge are. I'm very clear never to spoon-feed my children, because that won't help when the exams come."

A particular issue, he adds, is parents being behind the times: "My daughter will ask for help with her maths, and as soon as I start to show her my way of calculating, she'll stop me, saying, 'We don't do it like that any more.' And she's right. If a parent is not up to date with methodologies, they really should leave well alone. That's one of the main reasons I created my website, so that parents can benefit and brush up, too."

When Sofia Fenichell isn't running Mrs Wordsmith, an ed-tech start-up that uses stunning illustrations to help children with vocabulary, she is mother to Beau, nine, and Ferielle, 13. She says: "I'm a fan of homework. It's a great opportunity to consolidate what you have learned and helps develop a sense of responsibility.

"But I'm not a fan of homework that is carelessly assigned, perhaps something not covered in the classroom. That's when you get parents scrambling to help children by going on to YouTube or hitting Google."

She adds: "Part of being a parent is being there to engage with your child on things which are important - but you shouldn't be co-authoring their work. If my kids get their homework done before I get home, that is optimal."

Like Chan, she points to the moment when your child's knowledge outstrips yours as a sharp warning to step back. However, there is still a role, she says, for parents as overseers. "If you ask your child to tidy their room, you're going to walk around later and see how they did. I don't think it's wrong to check over homework either. That's not helicopter parenting."

Parents can get confused by the different messages on whether to help or not, says Dr Kate Ellis-Davies, senior lecturer at the psychology department of Nottingham Trent University. "That confusion," she explains, "comes from everyone meaning different things by 'helping' with homework.

"Helping can be simply being aware of the amount of homework set and helping children to plan ahead and time manage the different tasks they need to do. This kind of help is commonly encouraged by schools, with parents or caregivers initialling homework diaries, for example. Children tend to respond positively."

Motivation is another way of lending support: "This is about encouraging the student in the work they are doing, regardless of the topic," she says. "Importantly, this seems to be helpful only if the student doesn't perceive this as the parents exerting pressure on the child to perform. So, help in motivating that focuses on effort and interest in the work rather that outcome tends to be encouraged in schools."

Conversely, avoiding the homework hour altogether isn't ideal, says David Messer, the emeritus professor of child development and learning at the Open University. "It can reduce confidence if parents seldom give help and appear uninterested, especially if their child is stuck or does not understand something."

He suggests parents think in terms of providing "scaffolding". "They should structure their help so that children feel they are getting support and advice," he says, "but this help and advice becomes less specific and less frequent as a child gains confidence and the ability to carry out the homework."

Fenichell certainly agrees with the idea of being present. "I may sit with them - reading a book or on my PC working." And she is not against getting out the glue gun when a project comes home. "Sometimes these are meant to be done together. Sharing with a child is nice for both of you."

Chan shares the same view: "I don't think that is necessarily a problem; you are still getting their minds working and encouraging your child to think independently."

"Parents have a role to play," says Andy Wiggins, "perhaps as the 'warden', providing subtle and not so subtle nudges, depending on the child, or as the ignorant questioner innocently probing for information to get the cogs of the brain whirring.

"Occasionally, the parent might play teaching assistant and provide nuggets of coaching or advice.

"But they must never be teacher - that is what children go to school for. Leave the teaching to us."