Tantric sex revolves around sexual practices that are focused on creating a deep and intimate connection between two partners. The objective of tantric sex is to be present in the moment and to achieve a fulfilling sexual experience.
But how do you practice it and how does it help bring the spark back into the bedroom?
Here’s a complete guide to tantric sex for those who are interested to know the process, the techniques and the many ways to enjoy the moment.
What Is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is basically a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal is not orgasm, but enjoying every sensation in the body. The concept has its origin in ancient Hinduism and ideas revolve around tantra.
The word tantra is derived from the ancient Sanskrit language, which means “web” or to weave energy.”
The aim of this type of physical play is to move sexual energy throughout the body and use it for healing and enlightenment purpose. It is believed that tantric sex can help to resolve several sexual complications like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and anorgasmia.
Here’s a complete guide for those who wish to embark on a new sexual adventure.
Your Ultimate Guide To Tantric Sex
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You begin the understanding tantric sex by learning about its two basic principles, which are: knowing your body and knowing your partner’s body.
Know Your Body
Tantric sex encourages people to know their own bodies and be in sync with them. To understand what your body wants, you can engage in tantric self-love and masturbation.
But if you have some emotional block around self-touch, you need to be more gentle as you discover what prevents you from knowing your own body intimately. Once you know more about your body and pleasure zones, there is a higher chance of having a satisfying sexual experience.
It can also happen that you may not wish to learn about your own body through self-love like masturbation, and you would prefer learning about it through partnered sex. That is also acceptable.
Know Your Partner’s Body
Tantric sex is about getting to know your own as well as your partner’s body. This can help make the sexual experience fulfilling for both you and your partner.
You may start by giving your partner a gentle full-body massage to awaken their sexual energy. It will also help you to know what your partner wants. But if at any point you feel your partner is feeling uncomfortable, it is advisable to discontinue or ease out.
Sofia Sundari, a sex empowerment coach, suggested the following tips to help couples enjoy the tantric sex activity with their partners.
Don’t overwhelm your partner with information: Share your sexual likes and dislikes with your partner and open up about how you can make the experience better for the both of you.
Listen to what your partner has to say: While you are in the act, listen to what your partner has to say. They may say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘maybe’ as you go along asking if they like what you’re doing. Pay heed to their desires.
Can find a teacher to lead the way. If both you and your partner are open to tantra, then you should look for a guide who can help you to learn more about the practice.
Guide To Tantric Sex: How To Build A Moment With Your Partner
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To build the moment with a partner, you can try the following tips:
Foreplay can be anything. It can be oral or giving a gentle massage or taking a shower together. Whatever you do, both you and your partner should focus on each other.
The best way to gain a deep connection is to sit cross-legged and face each other. Follow this up by placing your right hand on each other’s heart and then try to synchronise breathing. Next, try touching each other sensually by taking turns to massage each other’s legs, necks and other body parts.
Over the next few minutes, you can begin to kiss. While you are at it, enjoy each and every sensation that you feel (in your body).
2. Tantric sex is not about sex
In the usual cases, sexual activity usually follows a pattern. For instance, you start with foreplay and then you have sex and it ends with orgasm. But, tantric sex doesn’t follow a pattern. It is about experimenting and enjoying the moment. If you choose to have sex, then go slow.
3. Don’t hesitate to be creative
Try new positions, touch each other in new ways, and explore your unearthed desires. This is another way to connect, reconnect as well as learn and unlearn more about each other’s desires and fantasies.
4. Make eye contact
You need to make eye contact with each other during the entire process. It may help deepen the connection and also add to existing intimacy.
5. Cuddle and lie down together
When you are lay down with your partner, it allows you to exchange and weave energies. You can consider the spooning position. The partner in the back will send energy, while the partner who is lying in front will absorb it. Be still for a few minutes and then harmonise your breath to let the energy flow freely.
6. Focus on breathing
Breathing is the main part of tantric sex. It is mainly because this technique revolves around meditation. You should focus on deep breathing through the diaphragm. For this, take five counts of a deep breath through the nose. Then exhale through your mouth for five counts.
When engaging in tantric sex with your partner, try synchronising your breath. It will increase connection and improve intimacy. Another breathing technique that you can use is Kapalbhati, a yoga exercise. This form of breathing can help to prolong ejaculation in males.
Guide To Tantric Sex: Positions To Try Out
There are many positions that you can try during tantric sex. For instance, you may want to try:
1. Yab-yum position
In this position, you sit with your legs crossed and then your partner sits on your lap, wrapping their legs around your waist.
You need to embrace each other and try to synchronise your breaths.
If you want, you can rub your genitals against each other and engage in penetrative sex. But you can just sit there and just feel the moment.
This position is suitable for masturbation too. You can also try out this posture in front of the mirror to learn more about your body.
2. Relaxed arch posture
You need to sit on the bed or on the floor with your legs straight.
Your partner will sit on your knees and then on your lap.
Your partner who is on top will slowly need to lean back and rest their head between your legs.
3. Hand on heart step
Here’s how you can do this with your partner
Sit cross-legged facing your partner.
Then place your right hand on their heart. Your partner can then place their right hand on your heart.
Now close your eyes and concentrate on your partner’s heart’s rhythm. Focus your mind on emotion and energy.
If you are doing this technique by yourself
Sit cross-legged with your back straight.
Now keep your right hand on your heart.
Close your eyes and try to tune into your heart’s physical rhythm.
Give yourselves time till a connection is built between your heart and your hand.
Once you are aware of the different postures you can use, your focus should be to enjoy the moment. Here are some tips to accentuate your experience.
Tips To Better Enjoy Experience Of Tantric Sex
Go slow and enjoy the moment. The aim of tantra is to learn and experience sensations more deeply.
Give it time and try not to rush.
Deep breathing is an essential part of tantric sex. When you focus on breathing you allow yourself to immerse in the experience.
Whether or not you wish to be naked during this is experience is your call. You can be clothed as well. The aim should be to do what makes you and your partner comfortable.
Be creative and experimental. Think out of the box but make sure your partner is comfortable with your sexual experiments.
Explore your own as well as your partner’s body. Whether it is by using hands or any other body part.
As for the ambience, you can try soft soothing music, light some scented candles, and take things slow. Make sure to engage all your senses during this tantra practice and it can become a pleasurable experience. Remember to let go of your worries while you engage in tantra sex and just focus on the moment.