‘Ghosting’: What Is It And Is It Ever Acceptable?

Sometimes that person just doesn’t fit the vibe — or is simply a toxic individual — and you’ve had enough. We get it. That’s how sometimes ghosting is considered self-care. Here are some circumstances where ghosting is fine and dandy.

For the uninitiated, ghosting is when you suddenly end a relationship with someone, however new or old it is, without informing them or giving them any reason. You essentially cease responding to their text messages or stop taking calls and disappear on them. While it may sound wrong, ghosting is quite a grey area, with no clear boundaries of right or wrong. Leaving someone can be a two-way street. While the whole world might argue against ghosting, here are some situations where you don’t need to feel guilty for ghosting someone.

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7 circumstances under which you should not feel guilty for ghosting

If you feel that there is no other way to handle it

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For whatever reason, the only way you can think to cut ties with a person is by ghosting them. Go ahead, do it. You don’t owe anyone any answer to anyone anyway. So, always choose your own mental well-being over anything else.

If the person’s energy is too fluctuating

You might have just started talking to someone, or might have known someone for a while. But their energy and availability of you is too inconsistent. Sometimes they will show you love and show interest in you. At other times, they go completely MIA and don’t get in touch with you for days. This fluctuating energy will do you no good and you will be left feeling confused. The smart thing to do? Ghost them. You shouldn’t have to invest your energy in someone who’s not doing the same for you.

If your physical, mental or emotional safety is at risk

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Remember that nothing comes before your safety, be it physical, mental or emotional. The moment you feel like any of these are in threat, do not even think twice before ghosting them. It might be that they become abusive when they are angry, or aggressive or even argumentative. Whatever the scenario, you shouldn’t feel guilty about ghosting them.

When they cannot take a hint or refuse to

You have told them enough times, or given subtle hints that you want to end your current relationship with them. But either they don’t get it or just simply refuse to understand it. Even after repeated attempts when they still don’t get it, it is okay to ghost them.

Even the slightest disregard for consent

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This is a thin line and you have to tread it carefully. With all the ongoing debate and movements around consent, most people will claim to understand and respect consent. Your partner might too. But if you find them getting upset or trying to manipulate or pressure you into saying otherwise even after you have said no, it’s a red flag and a big one. In such situations, sometimes it’s futile to have a conversation with the person since they don’t understand it all. If you think ghosting is the only way ahead, do it.

If they make you feel uneasy

There are times when you can’t figure out what is wrong with a person, but just their presence makes you feel uncomfortable. Either their presence or the way they talk or whatever, if you feel it in your gut, you listen to it. You can end things without giving them an explanation.

If you see a pattern of dishonesty

Regardless of whether you are dating someone short-term or long, if you see a recurring pattern of lies and deceit, it’s okay to end things with them by ghosting them. Pathological liars are always ready with excuses, so if you try to confront them, chances are they are already ready with their strategies. It’s best to just silently cut them off.

This story first appeared on Lifestyle Asia Kuala Lumpur