Actress Alison Steadman has said that she still grieves for her mother nearly 25 years after her death.
The ‘Gavin and Stacey’ star, who will be back on screens as Pam Shipman in the show’s upcoming Christmas special, said that she still cries for her mother “all the time”.
Speaking to the ‘On The Marie Curie Couch’ podcast, the 73-year-old said: “She died quite a long time ago, however, I still carry the pain of that with me.
“I can deal with it but it still makes me incredibly sad. It was such a shock because although she was suddenly not very well, we all just assumed it could be something that could be put right.”
Reflecting on her mother’s last few weeks, the actress revealed that the heartbreaking job of telling her mother that her cancer was terminal had fallen to her.
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“When we came home (from the hospital), I immediately lost my voice and started to cry,” she said.
“I pretended I needed the toilet quickly and I dashed upstairs and got myself together. My mum just looked at me and her first words were, ‘Any hopes?’ That phrase devastated me.
“Mum said to me, ‘do you think I’ll still be here by Christmas?’ This was about the end of November. I said, ‘of course you will, I’ve just bought you a new black skirt, a new jumper, a pair of slacks. Of course you’ll be here.’
“It was my way of not being able to face it,” she continued.
Despite some years passing since her mother’s death, Steadman reveals that the pain of losing her is still strong.
“The older I get the more I seem to grieve, it’s weird,” Steadman said.
“I find it quite hard to talk about death and dying. It’s something that we always think happens to other people but isn’t going to happen to us.
“I still cry for my mum and my dad all the time.”
The ‘On The Couch With Marie Curie’ podcase is hosted by bereavement specialist Jason Davidson, who has years of experience working in palliative care.
Steadman will be back on screens on Christmas Day alongside Gavin And Stacey co-stars James Corden, Ruth Jones, Mathew Horne, Joanna Page and Larry Lamb in a much-anticipated one-off episode.
On The Marie Curie Couch featuring Steadman will be available to download on Friday December 20 from ACast, iTunes and other podcast platforms.
Additional reporting PA.