Flying with children really isn't difficult – so why do so many parents make a meal of it?
Of all of the challenges of life with young children - and there are many - flying in an aeroplane is the very least of your worries.
The objective trials of early parenthood are these:
The perpetual cough/runny nose/vomiting/hand-foot-and-what? virus they pick up from other kids and then pass on to their visiting grandparents
Toilet training
Never-ending comparisons (from you, your neighbour, your mother) to conclude that your child is hopelessly behind. Of course, you know whose fault that is.
But honestly, a few hours in a novel environment, with uninterrupted parental attention, is a boon for kids. It is, therefore, a regular surprise to see how much anxiety parents develop around air travel.
Playing into this fundamental insecurity, Joon, the Air France subsidiary aimed directly at the millennial market, and proud server of quinoa and craft beer, is launching a new in-flight family zone, with seats that can be turned into (really small) play areas or beds. This follows Air New Zealand’s “Skycouch” concept, in which economy seats can be converted into beds with the addition of what are essentially “soft play” cushions.
Any movement to make economy seating more flexible and comfortable is to be encouraged. The only comfortable flights I’ve had since turning 25 have been in business class; more space equals more comfort.
But Joon’s effort to tie its flexi-space to children unnecessarily perpetuates a myth about flying with young people: in fact, it’s really not a big deal to take kids on aeroplanes. Children are like dogs; they behave pretty much as well as they’ve been trained to. The trouble lies in the parental panic.
I blame the parents
Some parents try to distance themselves from their own child: Who is this creature? I will not claim it as my own. Others adopt a Marxian from-each-according-to-his-ability approach and think the entire plane should be responsible for the care of their offspring. Why wouldn’t the flight attendant wish to entertain my child? Or the man in the seat in front of us?
Instead, like any good dog owner, you should keep your small person under control at all times, clean up after them, and encourage calm activities.
The secret to flying with kids
Don’t be a jerk: this isn’t time to catch up on whatever blockbuster you’ve missed because you no longer go to the cinema because you have kids. For the duration of the flight, you are on. You are the person who must answer all of your child’s needs. For young ones, that means constant entertainment. For older kids, you just need to make sure their in-flight entertainment is functioning and that their feet are kicking no-one. You may expect empathy from fellow passengers, but only if you try your absolute best.
Protect ears: The main problem families face in-flight is ear-popping, which can be painful and confusing for very young people – and it affects people differently, depending on their anatomy. For younger kids it is the dummy’s moment to shine. Slightly older children could suck on a sweet or lollipop to equalise the pressure.
Pack wisely: You cannot have too many nappies. Or wipes. You will all require a change of clothes.
Toys: Pack two (quiet) old toys, plus two new ones. Also, remember that 35,000 feet up in the air is not the moment to try a new film or game. The in-flight entertainment never works properly, and your toddler actually just wants to watch something she knows and likes. Bring a loaded tablet and child-appropriate headphones. If you’re one of those parents determined to make everything a teaching moment, buy Knuffle Bunny Free, by Mo Willems. Spoiler: this excellent picture book features a child with exemplary in-flight behaviour. And mildly exasperated parents - you’ll all find someone to relate to.
Exercise: Your child will want this. The Flyte scooter suitcase helped my toddlers whizz through airports and burn energy.
Make a meal of it: Plane food is not good - for adults or children. Bring a picnic of your child’s favourite (non-smelly) food, and drag it out for as long as possible.
