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Five things you learn when you work at a startup

This year over 100,000 startups have been launched in the UK alone - Film Still: The Social Network
This year over 100,000 startups have been launched in the UK alone - Film Still: The Social Network

“I’ve got a business idea. It’s like Uber, but for dogs. It’s going to make millions.”

If someone’s pitched you an idea like this, you’re not alone. In shared workspaces, cafes and bedrooms up and down the country, a nation of ‘wantrepreneurs’ are plotting how to create the ‘next Uber’ (or Deliveroo, or Netflix, or Monzo… you get the idea), make their startup millions and live wealthily ever after.

Back in the pre-Dragons’ Den days, becoming an entrepreneur was about as exotic as being an astronaut. It was something other people did – polymathic inventors and accomplished businessmen, not normal folk like me and you. But now, thanks to advances in technology and a generation of plucky/entitled millennials (delete as appropriate, depending on whether you are one) rewriting the rule book, every man and his dog is now searching for an industry to ‘disrupt’ (the ultimate startup buzzword) with their Big Idea™. (In case you were interested, Wag – the ‘Uber for dogs’ – has, to date, received over $350 million in funding.)

Already this year over 100,000 startups have been launched in the UK alone. Last year, more Brits than ever before left their stable jobs behind to take a punt in Startupland. And I was one of them. This time 12 months ago, I felt the pull of the entrepreneurial world and, without any real idea of what to expect, left a cushy job in media to join a startup.

A year on, I’ve learned a lot. If, like I was, you’re thinking of sacking in the day job to live your dream #startuplife (2,387,000 Instagram mentions and counting), here’s a beginners’ guide on what to expect...

1. LYA (Learn Your Acronyms)

When you’re at a startup, no meeting is complete without an obligatory acronym or two. And we’re not talking LOLs and WTFs. From BAU (‘Business As Usual’) and MVP (‘Minimum Viable Product’) to ROI (‘Return On Investment’) and EOP (‘End Of Play’ – surely, at three syllables, the most pointless of the lot), you’ll need to know your acronyms to cut it with the CSOs, COOs, CMOs, CTOs and CCOs (yes, these are all real titles).

It doesn’t stop with acronyms, either. If you really want to fit in, ensure you polish up on your startup vocabulary. ‘Growth hacking’, ‘acqui-hiring’ and ‘dogfooding’ are all the rage in Silicon Valley right now.

2. Adapt to agility

‘Agile’ is a close second to ‘Disrupt’ in the ranking of Most Commonly Overused Startup Words. But for good reason. When you’re in a new, small business, everything changes, all the time. And that’s OK. In fact, it’s great. In the absence of antiquated, corporate teams that are as slow to change direction as oil tankers, it’s up to you to think – and act – fast, which can be incredibly exhilarating.

If, in your current role, you regularly find yourself shaking a fist angrily at the sky because your boss or client won’t try something different, you may well thrive in a startup culture where it’s acceptable, even encouraged, to regularly ‘pivot’ (the third word in the Holy Trinity of Pretentious Startup Speak).

3. Everybody wants to save the world

Every startup needs a mission, a purpose, a North Star. That mission, in approximately 87pc of startups, is to change the world.

At every networking event I went to (side-note: there are a lot of networking events for startups, so if you like free booze and canapes, that’s a plus point), I encountered at least one wantrepreneur who was adamant that he or she (usually he) was going to "make the world a better place". Make no mistake, this is a noble ambition. But when your product is an innovative new avocado slicer, not so much.

4. The hours are long…

Not just long. Really long. Without large teams and budgets, and with intense pressure to deliver results, it’s not out of the ordinary to find yourself at the office into the early hours of the morning. A regular stream of the startupper’s drink of choice – the skinny flat white (basically a latte for a***holes) – will help get you through, though if you want to go full Silicon Valley, check out ‘Nootropics’, the new fad of semi-legal, brain-enhancing, sleep-fighting ‘smart drugs’ that are all the rage in the US.

5. … but the rewards can be very fulfilling

Working at a startup is hard – mentally, emotionally and physically. It swallows huge mouthfuls of your time and energy, and can spit you out on the floor, a tired, broken wreck. But between the lows, there are some incredible highs. You learn things you’d never normally learn, get an amazing sense of accomplishment at doing your own thing and, working in such an intense environment, forge friendships and working relationships that are built to last. It’s not for everyone, but if you’ve got a big idea and you’re stuck in a rut, there’s never been a better time to make the jump.

If Wag can do it, so can you.