My ex is breaking lockdown to visit her parents with our five-year-old son

My ex-partner and I have a five-year-old son. Recently, I discovered that she has been breaking lockdown rules by taking him to visit her elderly parents.

I sympathise with anyone who needs family contact during the lockdown. I am sure we all feel the same way. But this is a serious breach of trust, as well as putting our son at risk.

We have not had a good relationship since separating, but I genuinely believed the lockdown had led to better communication and more cooperation. We have been moving our son safely between the two houses.

If I raise this with her, I am likely to get an angry and defensive reaction. The best approach might be just to let her carry on doing it and hope for the best, but that goes against my protective instinct as a parent. What should I do?

  • When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

  • If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

  • All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see