Everyone’s pretty upset about Jessica Lange on “American Horror Story: Roanoke”

When we learned the big ~twist~ on American Horror Story: Roanoke, we were scared, frightened, but then excited! The twist — also, these are spoilers, because duh — basically combines the “real” AHS world with the “TV” version of AHS, with everyone returning back to Roanoke to be scared shitless. It also means that there can be multiple versions of the same character, and this has led to a few casting surprises on AHS so far. It’s been great.

And somewhere, not really sure where, we all got it in our heads that OF COURSE, when it came time to cast the “real” Roanoke Butcher, OF COURSE it would be played by American Horror Story queen, Jessica Lange. She’s been absent from the series since Freak Show, and coming back as what is hands down the most terrifying character we’ve encountered yet, it just makes sense, you know?

There was even a Jessica Lange shoutout in “Chapter 6,” when Agnes comments that there are two great roles in the world: The Butcher and Mary Tyrone from Long Days Journey Into Night — and the latter happens to have most recently been played by Jessica Lange on the stage.

Going into “Chapter 7” we were so excited to see Jessica Lange!! Even though her involvement with this season was never even confirmed!! We’re not really sure where this rumor started, but we liked it enough to hope it would come true!!

And then it didn’t. And we were pretty disappointed in everything. Mostly ourselves, for thinking that yeah, Jessica Lange would be the one to come back and, uh, kill everyone.

There are still three episodes left of this season, so who knows? Maybe Ms. Jessica Lange will stroll into Roanoke one day and completely blow us away with her hella good acting chops, like she always does. And in the mean time…

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