Stephen Colbert pretended for a brief moment to have something nice to say about House Republicans on Wednesday’s “The Late Show,” before pulling a bait and switch to declare that they’ve actually reached “critical dumb.”
Then, while discussing the recent debacle over the failed bipartisan border bill that Republicans rejected even though it caved to every one of their demands, Colbert mocked House Speaker Mike Johnson in personal terms. Johnson, Colbert speculated, probably doesn’t really oppose porn as much as he claims as he seems to enjoy being humiliated in public.
“Those of you who watch the show, and I hope you do you, know that I give Republicans in the Congress a hard time,” Colbert said during his “The Late Show” monologue. “But every every so often, I know, every so often you got to just step back and appreciate… how much harder of a time they give themselves.”
“Because recently, their stupid levels have reached critical dumb. And earlier earlier this week, under orders from Donald Trump, they rejected their own border deal that they demanded four months ago in exchange for aid to Ukraine, and instead, yesterday, they decided to impeach Secretary of Homeland Security, Alejandro Mayorkas, who most Americans could not pick out of a lineup,” Colbert continued as a photo purportedly of Mayorkas appeared onscreen.
Then, Colbert revealed he’d just pulled a fast one on viewers, saying, “including you, because this is not Alejandro Mayorkas. In fact, it’s just an image one of my writers found by googling the words ‘bald man in suits.’ The real the actual target of this impeachment was actual Homeland Security Secretary and the ‘bald men in suit,’ Alejandro Mayorkas.”
“The vote was called by House speaker, and man in the commercial who has the confidence to shake hands again after taking Cialis, Mike Johnson, the GOP you’ll remember has just a razor thin majority in the House. So clearly, Speaker Johnson would bring this to the floor for a vote only if he knew with absolute certainty they have the votes to — And they lost,” Colbert said as a headline of the news that the vote failed appeared.
Mike Johnson, are you definitely against porn? Because you sure like getting spanked while everyone watches,” Colbert joked. And for those who don’t remember, one of weirder things about Johnson is his obsession with pornography.
Watch the clip below: