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Chris Pratt has come to Instagram to warn us all about trolls, and we are not even a little bit kidding

Emily Baines
Updated
Chris Pratt has come to Instagram to warn us all about trolls, and we are not even a little bit kidding
Chris Pratt has come to Instagram to warn us all about trolls, and we are not even a little bit kidding

Guys, Chris Pratt is very, very concerned for your safety… in regards to trolls, that is. And not the kind of trolls you might be thinking of. Indeed, the “Guardians of the Galaxy” star isn’t speaking out against Internet harassers (although we’re sure he would.) He is ALSO not here to warn us about the dangers of returning to our 90s obsession with the indescribably soft hair of these trolls:

Major League Baseball 2005
Major League Baseball 2005

Nope. Chris Pratt is talking about REAL trolls, and he even has photographic proof:

Oh snap!!! It's my favorite time of year!!!! Where my peeps at who know what I'm talking about? To be clear, what I'm talking about is #TrollTime ##TrollTime is the time of year when evil trolls roam the woods and scratch their greasy nails up and down the tree bark sharpening them for the purge. The troll purge is a big deal in the Pacific Northwest. And an epidemic. Trolls are being wiped out at an alarming rate. Only you can stop their decimation by wrapping yourself in bacon and hanging out near bridges and offering yourself up as a scrumptious snack to the trolls. Now I know what you're thinking... Nothing. You are not thinking anything at all. Your mind is utterly devoid of thought. You are 6 inches from your phone mindlessly scrolling through bursts of colorful meaningless digital cerebellum numbing information blasts meanwhile REAL LIFE BEASTS are out in the woods eating and making love and running all buckwild scratching up the trees. PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE GO OUTSIDE BREATHE DEEP AND LOOK OUT FOR TROLLS

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Oct 18, 2016 at 11:38am PDT

Pratt writes (or warns, really):

Oh snap!!! It’s my favorite time of year!!!! Where my peeps at who know what I’m talking about?
To be clear, what I’m talking about is #TrollTime

##TrollTime is the time of year when evil trolls roam the woods and scratch their greasy nails up and down the tree bark sharpening them for the purge. The troll purge is a big deal in the Pacific Northwest. And an epidemic. Trolls are being wiped out at an alarming rate. Only you can stop their decimation by wrapping yourself in bacon and hanging out near bridges and offering yourself up as a scrumptious snack to the trolls. Now I know what you’re thinking… Nothing. You are not thinking anything at all. Your mind is utterly devoid of thought. You are 6 inches from your phone mindlessly scrolling through bursts of colorful meaningless digital cerebellum numbing information blasts meanwhile REAL LIFE BEASTS are out in the woods eating and making love and running all buckwild scratching up the trees.
PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE

GO OUTSIDE

BREATHE DEEP
AND LOOK OUT FOR TROLLS

Whoa. Chris Pratt, who is our favorite goofball and resident hottie, sure has some real intense opinions about trolls. We’d bet Hermione Granger would echo his sentiments. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone shout-out, anyone?

my-fictional-bucketlist-its-only-erica-10
my-fictional-bucketlist-its-only-erica-10

This isn’t the first time Chris Pratt has shown an appreciation for nature (real or fictional) on his Instagram.

Remember that time he caught that really big fish?

Spent a great day on the water and caught a redfish of a lifetime! 45 inches! Gotta love Texas!!! #workhardplayhard #godisgood Thanks @sethmburns21 and Jared for putting me on fish. What a day! #HawgHeaven

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Oct 1, 2016 at 8:58pm PDT

Not to mention Double Rainbow guy isn’t the only one who appreciates rainbows:

#IslandLife rainbow!!!! I'm smiling. This is my view. Im very excited to see this rainbow you have no idea.But more than the view, or the rainbow, it's them mutha fuckin leprechauns. They might have got me this once. But news flash I know where they live. And and gonna hunt one. And catch his ass. they're gonna WISH I didn't get three wishes cause I'm not gonna just use my three wishes to F them leprechauns up real bad for what they done to me but im gonna wish for a million wishes then use all million of them wishes to F them leprechauns up three million time three million to infinity for a lifetime son. Except, I will have a couple wishes saved for doing fun stuff with my family and friends just spitballing here but I've always wanted to shoot fish in a barrel. That is a thing I heard about. I always hear people talk about how easy it is. Sounds like a real riot. I'd # use probably a close range firearm so I could see the damage but maybe also you could just unload from like 20 feet with a bazooka or even a 30.06. Nonetheless. That rainbow is real. No filter. A gift from God to me which I guess technically I'm re-gifting to you guys. Don't take it personally it's the thought that counts. Goodnight.

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Mar 9, 2016 at 11:16pm PST

Chris Pratt has been in the news lately with the release of the latest Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 trailer, which we all agree looks amazing. (Almost as amazing as he looks!)

Now the only question is: are there trolls in this new movie?

The post Chris Pratt has come to Instagram to warn us all about trolls, and we are not even a little bit kidding appeared first on HelloGiggles.