Advertisement

Bird boxing - the latest dating trend you need to know about

We're all blind in the pursuits of love... - Netflix
We're all blind in the pursuits of love... - Netflix

First came ghosting, then breadcrumbing: now there’s a new entry into our ever expanding lexicon of dating terminology - bird boxing. Taking its name from the popular Netflix movie which sees Sandra Bullock grappling her way through life in a post-apocalyptic world entirely blindfolded, this new trend follows much the same plot. Coined by romance experts over at Tinder, we fools of love are apparently “blind to just how bad your partner/the person you’re seeing is”. Guilty as charged.  

For most of us, when the first throes of passion hit, our new crush can really do no wrong. Ah the honeymoon period, those crucial and intoxicating first few heady weeks and months when two become one and your life feels like the plot of a rom com.

Sleepless, lust-filled nights and candlelit dinners when you and your partner agree on absolutely everything and even their snoring is actually quite endearing. And you, entirely forgetting the great litany of failed romances that have come before, naively assume things will always be this way. Because how could this cherubic creature ever be anything other than perfect?

But, fast forward a few months, to them febreezing the bed sheets clean and sitting on the sofa in Y-fronts all day, and things look a lot less rosy. 

Here are five ways to spot a budding bird boxer.

An easy-to-please attitude

In the initial stages of courting, your potential life partner’s easy going approach meant a happy, drama-free existence. You would happily take control of the social calendar and revel in creating grand plans for couples' activities and day trips to quaint English villages with not so much as a peep or interjection from your other half. That novelty soon wears off, though, and the laissez-faire life approach begins to grow tiresome when all the emotional labour is falling to you. Next time, swipe left on the zen master.

The Notebook - Credit:  Melissa Moseley/Entertainment Film
The honeymoon period can sometimes feel like you're living in the plot of a Nicholas Sparks novel Credit: Melissa Moseley/Entertainment Film

Over attentiveness

They you text back in under a minute, always call on their lunch break to ‘check in’ and like every single one of your social media posts within minutes. What starts off as cute keen bean behaviour quickly descends into clinger territory. And soon the urge to break free from the smothering tendrils of your partner and get back to solo living is irresistible. 

Quirky taste

They turned up on your first date in a one-of-a-kind vintage paisley shirt: fast forward a few weeks and you’ve progressed to home hangouts, only to be met with a jovial ‘proceed with caution’ doormat. How fun. Just something they picked up from the local second hand shop, along with the taxidermied deer head that hangs above the bed. Before you know it, him and all his kitsch trinkets will be moving into your painfully curated Scandi-style flat and heartbreak looks likely. 

Being cautious with money

They save receipts, religiously check their online bank balance and have got the Spendee app permanently open, jotting down every last scrap of dosh expended. Initially this attention to detail and money vigilance was a selling point. You foolishly first thought that being in control of your own finances was a mark of great maturity, but let's be honest - penny pinching is never a turn on.

Basic interests

When, on date three, they confess that they’d quite like to see the new Star Wars film, you oblige because you’re easy breezy and can of course enjoy a good blockbuster once in a while. And before you know it you’re being forced to spend a sunny Saturday afternoon in front of the box with a Harry Potter omnibus for company and dreams of that new Jean-Luc Godard film a distant memory.