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‘The Bachelorette’ Tried to Flip the Script With Their Dodgeball Date…and It Fell So Flat

From Cosmopolitan

I’ve watched The Bachelor franchise for years, for reasons that I can’t even explain, and I can say without a doubt that last night’s episode was one of the most uncomfortable I’ve ever seen. The Bachelorette is supposed to be a switch-a-roo from The Bachelor—the woman is the one making the rules, the one in the romantic driver’s seat. Equality! Right? Um, not exactly.

And that awkward strip dodgeball date reminded viewers exactly how that’s not actually the case at all. In fact, Clare’s attempt to spin the concept of power and control on its head reinforced her place in a system that was never made to benefit her.

For those who love themselves enough to have skipped last night’s episode, let me break it down for you. The men on the group date were split into two teams of five for a lighthearted game of dodgeball. The winning team would get quality time with our Bachelorette, Clare Crawley, and the losing team would be sent back to the house, aka their quarantine bubble. But the producers Clare upped the stakes—the men would actually be playing strip dodgeball. At the end of the game, the losing team had stripped down to their the thongs they were made to wear and walked back home nearly naked.

I think the producers meant for this date to be a little tongue-in-cheek. Like, look at us, haha, we’re changing the script! By making the men take off their clothes, Clare’s meant to be seen as in control, in charge, and giving the patriarchy the middle finger. But TBH, all it proves is that power is so closely intertwined with masculinity and that in order for Clare to confirm that she’s the one who’s really calling the shots, she needed to show that she has authority over other people’s bodies like the men who think they can tell a women when she can or can’t have sex (hi, Luke Parker); the men who make reproductive decisions for women; and the men who get pissed off when a woman doesn’t respond to their catcalling. Clare probably thought that she was pulling one over on The Man, when in fact she was actually playing into their game.

Photo credit: Craig Sjodin - Getty Images
Photo credit: Craig Sjodin - Getty Images

Oh, and Clare isn’t the only woman who tries to express power through masculinity. It happens far outside of Bach Nation too: Kylie Jenner calls herself (and her business) “King Kylie” and Cher’s “Mom, I am a rich man” interview quote went viral not that long ago. What does it say about power in general if you’re only using male-centric language or historically male actions to prove that you have it?

During the game, when you spot Clare leering at the men from the sidelines, you can kind of tell that she does feel a sense of authority. Through the comments she makes about their butts (so cringe) and saying things like “Their loss is my gain,” she isn’t reversing the male gaze at all. She’s showing us that it’s hers too. It’s one of the only moments during the episode where she doesn’t need to rely on validation from men to make her happy, like she did during the love language group date (which was also awkward as hell). She didn’t appear to question her worth once during the strip dodgeball scene, but it came at the subjugation of other people.

The show keeps pushing the idea that Clare is a strong woman who knows what she wants. She’s 39, dammit! She’s not here to play around! But who is actually in control? There’s always been a set of rules on how to act and how to look that’s trailed The Bachelorette stars, which causes them to second-guess themselves, their actions, and question if they should even be there at all.

Clare’s been slut-shamed by the show in the past. She’s the oldest Bachelorette ever. She still feels like she has to win the men over, which makes complete sense, IMO. Clare exists right on the limits that the show sets on what it means to be the sort of woman who is worthy of marrying a decent man. Her attempt to reclaim any type of power through the strip dodgeball challenge did just the opposite—she reinforced her place in a system she’ll never actually benefit from.

There’s a difference between feeling empowered and having actual power. The dynamics of the show are set in stone regardless of who’s the lead, and this attempt to change the narrative fell flat. It just reminded us who is actually calling the shots.

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