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If You're Going to Wear Shorts, Consider These 14 Important Hot Takes

Photo credit: Getty, Pacific Coast News
Photo credit: Getty, Pacific Coast News

From Esquire

Blame it on global warming, or blame it on the laxity of the millennial perspective, but men's shorts are aggressively shifting into commonplace attire-both in the workplace and out. Just this week, The New York Times reported that the increasingly casual work environment has spiked the acceptance of shorts at work. ( Though some people feel they can't "deal with your calves shimmying all over the office.") But is this an accurate read or not? Should guys wear shorts to work? Should guys wear shorts ever?

SHOP Shorts: mrporter.com

Turns out, there are a lot of fervent opinions on the matter-many coming from just within the walls of the Esquire office. Here's what you should consider before heading out in shorts.


Pro (Mostly):

Shorts are fine if you get them right. They have to look purposeful and intentional, but what exactly that means varies depending on the situation. In a casual environment? They should fit properly-not too baggy, just above the knee-and probably not have any cargo pockets on them. At work? You'd better dress those things up and walk into the office with all the confidence in the world. Of course, when it comes to capital "F" Fashion Statements, the rules go out the window. As with so many things pertaining to personal style, there's no real right answer. It all comes down to whether you can pull it off. (And if you can't, you'd be better be ready for someone to tell you.)

–Jonathan Evans, senior style editor


Con:

When summer rolls around, I lose part of my identity. I just don't like summer clothes. I don't like wearing shorts, and I don't particularly love seeing shorts either. That being said, I don't actually care that much because it's fucking hot out there. Wear the half-pants if you must. I'm just saying that pants would look better, 100 percent of the time. Also, hard pass on the shorts at work. Have you ever looked at a person in shorts and thought, "Yes, this person. This is our new leader. Let us follow them wherever they may go." Shorts have never been inspirational or intimidating, not one time. Unless you want to be poor millennial trash forever, keep the shorts for after hours.

Christine Flammia, associate style editor


Pro:

Photo credit: Getty
Photo credit: Getty

A dress code should be uniform across genders. Is it OK to show legs? Cool. Then everyone should be able to show their legs. Not OK to show legs? Fine. Nobody show their legs. Everyone should just wear jumpsuits like in Star Trek but with zip-off pant legs and and sleeves in case it gets too hot. Or maybe the suits are temperature regulated so you're always feel as cold or as hot as you want. And if a dress code reinforces double standards based on gender and orientation... also fine (plot twist) but a company has to realize what message they're communicating and the effect they have on their employees. "We like you better if you're physically attractive, straight, and cisgendered. Tough shit if you're anything other than that." This is America. Land of the free, and that includes the freedom to wear shorts, skirts, pants, or whatever floats your boat. In any context. Especially at a time when we're saying that, "There's No Right or Wrong Way to Wear Your Pants Right Now," a man should never have to wear a dress in protest. And dammit, if we're ok with wearing sweatpants and joggers in public, what the hell is so wrong with shorts? Try telling Pharrell to go put on some pants.

-KP Peralta, designer

"Everyone should just wear jumpsuits like in 'Star Trek' but with zip-off pant legs and and sleeves in case it gets too hot."

Con:

In terms of workplace shorts, that's a hard no. You just have to leave those bad boys at home for the weekend. But on the other end, if you're going to wear shorts, you have to go big. More leg, less pockets.

–Justin Kirkland, Snapchat writer


(Essentially) Pro:

I'm not going to say I'm "pro-shorts," but at a certain point, it becomes impractical to wear anything else. If it's five million degrees out and 100 percent humidity, I say go for it! Life's too short to be uncomfortable. It may not be appropriate for your office (although that's a separate issue), but summer weekends are perfectly fine to show the world all the times you bailed on leg day. Just please, for the love of God, make sure they fit properly. I firmly believe shorts shouldn't go below your knees, or show too much thigh. So many rules! And I shouldn't even have to say this, but cargo shorts are always a no. Regular shorts have pockets, why do you need the extra space? What are you hiding?

–Elena Hilton, assistant social media editor


Con:

Photo credit: Getty
Photo credit: Getty

I never thought I would be This Guy, but I'd follow the Tom Ford rule, which I may or may not have learned today, but which lays out how I've long felt in a pithy way: "A man should never wear shorts in the city." Unless you are exercising, or you're near water you can swim in, or you're in The Great Outdoors, or you have a job that involves physical activity and/or being outside the majority of the time, you should not wear shorts. Shorts are bad for men. They chop your legs into half-pant, half-hairy pieces and then dramatically limit what sock-shoe combinations are open to you. (This assumes you don't commit the compound sin of shorts and flip-flops in a non-aquatic environment.)

Instead, you should wear pants. They make your legs look good, and you can get them in lightweight fabrics that might be nearly as cool as your half-pants. If you must wear shorts, though, keep them a couple inches above the knee and devoid of cargo pockets, current "trends" notwithstanding. Also, don't wear them in cold weather like those skinny teens who are somehow never cold. It's creepy.

–Jack Holmes, associate news and politics editor

"Shorts are bad for men. They chop your legs into half-pant, half-hairy pieces and then dramatically limit what sock-shoe combinations are open to you."

Pro:

I've been insecure about being a man in shorts ever since Tom Ford said that thing about being a man in shorts. But the truth is, Tom probably never rode an M train with a broken air conditioner in the middle of July. Summer is trash! Don't we deserve better? I say to hell with the Ford Doctrine: Free the calves.

–Nate Erickson, senior lifestyle editor


Pro Good Shorts:

Photo credit: Getty
Photo credit: Getty

I'm not fundamentally offended by the idea that shorts are too casual for an office environment as much as I'm repulsed by people wearing ugly shorts in general.

Down with dumpy shorts, jorts, shorts that are too tight, too long, and a special fuck you to cargo shorts. What are you toting in that pocket-your unfinished sandwich? Are you in the military and need it to store ammunition? No? Then cut that shit out. As for shorts being too casual for dressier environments, there ARE shorts whose cut and fit is stylish enough to wear to work or events, but most of the general population (read: people outside NYC or L.A.) don't rock them. Come correct with Thom Browne or don't come at all. And the only instance where wearing shorts OVER something is acceptable? Josh Brolin in Goonies.

Renata Sellitti, senior branded content editor

"Come correct with Thom Browne or don't come at all."

Con:

Back in middle school, I had gym class immediately followed by math class. After we'd all settled into our chairs and taken out our calculators, the scent of un-deoderized boy sweat would waft through the room as those same boys unsnapped their athletic warm-ups-the ones that ripped off at the knee-to cool off or dug pencils out of their cargos. So I've never loved male shorts. Something just seems off about them. Like, what's stopping you from covering your entire leg in a stylish/mature pair of pants? And they look ridiculous as formal wear.

–Sarah Rense, assistant lifestyle editor


Pro:

Shorts are fine if you have the right socks.

–John Hendrickson, deputy editor


Pro:

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News
Photo credit: Pacific Coast News

As a man who wears shorts and a man who enjoys looking at men in shorts, I am, obviously, pro-shorts. Having said that, a caveat: I am not into shorts at work, but I'm not necessarily offended by the idea as long as the shorts are fairly nice and your place of work is generally informal. I worked at a state park over the summers when I was in college, and naturally I wore shorts when I was outside all day long renting paddle boats and kayaks to guests. The only time I wore shorts to work as an adult was on the day after the LGBT Pride parade; I was too hungover to change out of the clothes that I slept in and was running late, so I just strolled into my office-a fairly casual one, as it was a now-defunct magazine. And then I realized that I was supposed to go to a junket and interview Mira Sorvino, who was wearing a business suit and gave me a rightfully disgusted look when I showed up wearing cut-off denim shorts that were definitely TOO short. So, you know: Wear the shorts that are appropriate for the occasion, and probably never in front of Academy Award-winner Mira Sorvino.

My second caveat-and this is really one that comes from the side of me that enjoys seeing men in shorts: Shorts should stop above the knee. And they should have no more than four pockets. And honestly, if you are not Bradley Cooper in the behind-the-scenes photos from American Sniper, consider carefully if you have the legs to show off in the shortest shorts possible. Honestly, this was the greatest moment in shorts history.

–Tyler Coates, culture editor


Mostly Con:

There are only a few scenarios in which wearing shorts is acceptable on grown men: Around the house, at the pool/beach, while doing any exercise or physical activity, and a casual outdoor special event (i.e. music festivals and parades). That's it. Shorts, especially athletic shorts, should never be worn in public under any other circumstances. Do not wear shorts to work. Never wear shorts to dinner. PLEASE don't wear shorts on a date (unless it's one of the above scenarios). Don't wear shorts to the movies or to a bar or to a house party. Yes, I understand it gets hot out. That's not an excuse! Sometimes appropriate clothing is uncomfortable. You're not going to wear a muscle shirt to work because it breathes better than your button down (I hope).

–Matt Miller, associate culture editor

"Sometimes appropriate clothing is uncomfortable. You're not going to wear a muscle shirt to work because it breathes better than your button down (I hope)."

Pro, Former Con:

I spent most of my twenties and early thirties as a radical anti-shorts advocate, operating under the strictures of some style guidelines I plucked from the cultural ether. Maybe even from reading Esquire growing up. Although I do seem to remember all manner of fashion spreads with men in blazers and ties with shorts on in the nineties, so who knows what that was about. But then something happened, and I tossed it all out the window along with all of my other convictions. For one thing, it got way too hot out, and secondly I just don't give a shit anymore.

It didn't happen overnight though; it was gradual. I began granting myself exceptions for places it was OK to wear shorts. Obviously the beach and pools and athletic activity was always OK. But then hanging around the house got a pass, then going to a BBQ. Next came doing errands, or going out in the city during the day. The last hold out for me was going to a rock show or to a bar at night, but now it's just not worth sweating it out anymore trying to please …whomever it is we try to please when we put clothes on.

The last bastion of the no shorts zone for me would be a professional office setting, but I haven't worked in a real office in like 15 years, so fortunately I don't have to put that one to the test.

Luke O'Neil, writer at large


Pro:

Photo credit: Getty
Photo credit: Getty

It's 2017 and in every aspect of culture, we're breaking out of the things that are accepted as "traditional"-so why would shorts at work be a problem? When I judge someone for what they're wearing to the office (don't pretend you don't), I'm looking at how they put an outfit together, not the fact that they have shorts or a T-shirt on. If they can be taken seriously via the quality of their work, what they're wearing matters less. If I'm in sales and making more money for my company than the guy who wears a three-piece suit every day, I'll sleep well at night knowing my value while he stresses about his performance and his outfit in the morning. The point is to look presentable-"professional" lives in a gray area now. If you put something together that looks good, and involves shorts, so be it. All of that said, I've never worn shorts to work. But if I ever did, the guy in a trash fit has no right to look down on me just because his calves are covered.

–Ben Boskovich, managing editor


Pro:

I wish everyone-including many of the Esquire staffers-would lighten up about shorts. Don't wear them to the office, unless wearing shorts is something people at your office do, then wear them to the office. If you don't want to wear shorts, then wear pants. Don't wear shorts to a nice place-like a fancy restaurant or a bar. But if you're going to a dive bar, and it's 95 degrees outside, fucking wear shorts. Unless you don't want to wear shorts, then wear pants. In other words, if it's appropriate to wear shorts to a place, and you want to wear shorts, then do it. (Just please-please-make sure it's appropriate.) Don't let a men's magazine tell you otherwise.

–Michael Sebastian, site director

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