My single favorite cinema moment last year was the actor Armie Hammer plunging his thumb into a soft-boiled egg, causing the runny yolk to cascade down his all-American fingers and bring the promise of sex into breakfast, where it belongs. Whether it wins any Oscars or not, Call Me By Your Name changed my life. What a moment! What an egg! What a giant, gorgeous, muscular man!
So I did what any dummy with a crush does, and followed Hammer on Instagram. It was a good time, featuring hijinks with his co-star Timothée Chalamet, peeks into his wholesome family life, and...I don't know what this is. It was all very glamorous and too-too...until the tracksuits.
Or, that is, one tracksuit: the Adidas tracksuit.