Alison Brie feared mental illness was in her DNA after she spiralled into a "deep depression" ahead of making her new movie Horse Girl.
The actress co-wrote the upcoming film, and during the process, was inspired by the issues suffered by her grandmother, who had paranoid schizophrenia.
As a result, Alison's mother was taken into care and suffered her own trauma, which had a knock-on effect on her mental health. So, when the Glow star found herself struggling with depression, she began questioning whether it was even something she could control.
"Right before we started writing the movie, I went through a deep depression unlike any I had experienced," she told Britain's The Guardian newspaper. "I would just sit there sobbing, even though everything was fine. Nothing had happened. It came out of nowhere. That's when I started to get irrationally angry at my own DNA, and started to think, 'This is just in me, I can't even control this. This is brain chemistry.'"
Doctors advised Alison to take medication to help the depression, which she refused, but she did start therapy sessions. And while she's now in a much better place in her life, the screen star does her best to keep things in perspective.
"Life is just this constant work in progress," the 37-year-old continued. "Every time you're on the upswing, you think, 'I've figured it out, I've finally found the key to all joy and will never lose it again.' And that's how you end up blindsided."
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