Is there anything more horrifying than the prospect of food that can talk? Just imagine all those vegetables chattering to themselves while they’re put down on the heaving Christmas table; no thanks.
And yet, Aldi manages to pull it off. For their latest festive ad, they’ve decided to put an old spin on a classic by reintroducing Kevin the Carrot.
Kevin was last seen in last year's rather bizarre Christmas ad, which attempted to combine celebrating the festive season with the footballing World Cup. This time around, Aldi have thankfully made things a bit more Christmas-centric by basically retelling the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
For you see, this year our sentient carrot takes on the role of the downtrodden Charlie Bucket (ish) as he and a host of other veg visit The Christmas Factory. Leading the tour is William Conker – a name which itself bears rather an unfortunate similarity to the Conqueror of the 1000s, as well as Willy Wonka. Maybe that was intentional? Who knows.
Anyway, we’re inside the factory, and truly it’s a place of wonders. Instead of Oompa-Loompas, there are plumpty-dumpties – I think those are tiny plums, but I’m not certain. And instead of the usual tribe of misfits who get their comeuppance via various chocolatey ways, there’s an overweight grape that drowns in gravy, a kiwi that gets frozen in chocolate rather like Han Solo in carbonite and a "spoilt little sprout" who gets brutally murdered by the icing-sugar dusting machine. Eek.
If that all sounds a bit too graphic for a Christmas advert, it fortunately is played in just the right way – this whole advert is a delight. Every frame groans with various types of food, most of which have been shoehorned into the action in inventive ways: there’s a river of gravy, a mince pie conveyor belt and a Christmas tree made of profiteroles.
Off-colour jokes abound: a boat full of trumpeting sprouts (aka sprouts playing the trumpet) raised a chuckle, as did one scene where a plum is hoisted into the air by the seat of his trousers, prompting cries of “I can see his plumcrack!” And at the end, it seems only fitting that Kevin is given ‘the cheese to the factory’ for his selflessness.
“Wow,” Kevin cries, “That’s huge, Willy!” Totally unnecessary, but still, why hold in that chuckle? Embrace the puerile humour; after all, it’s Christmas.