There were 11 things that could go drastically wrong, I calculated, spread evenly along my planned voyage from London to Germany. But it had been three long months since I’d last seen my German fiance, Julius, and the stars had aligned in such a way that made it our last chance to get married and indeed spend any time together before the UK’s work-from-home edict ended and we’d be living and employed in the wrong countries again. The aim was for me to drive via the Eurotunnel and through France, with my giant German Shepherd, Bear, in my tiny Fiat 500, Mario, through multiple checks requiring seven separate documents, all within the 48-hour window of taking my Covid test in central London. The 11 things that could go drastically wrong were as follows: My test, taken in London, would be positive, in the absence of any symptoms The result (assuming negative), promised by the next day at 6pm, wouldn’t come back in time for me to get out of the UK Eurotunnel would suspend its services, and my ticket would be cancelled Bear wouldn’t be allowed into the EU, because of Brexit-related complications The UK border force wouldn’t let me out, despite my having a legal reason to leave France, still in a state of semi-lockdown, would close to British travellers again The French would let me in, but I’d have to stay there and quarantine for 10 days, rather than be granted transit I’d get through France, but the Germans wouldn’t let me in on account of my paperwork being wrong The paperwork would be fine, but my Covid test might have by this point expired Mario would break down, and I’d be in trouble, because of Brexit-related complications Worse, my ineptitude at driving on the wrong side of the road would result in Mario’s crash, and my death If you’d presented me with this list, prior to early 2020 and without context, I would have assumed the world had broken into nuclear warfare. The Brexit faff wouldn’t have surprised me, of course, nor would the risks associated with my bad driving. But eight of those classified risks were coronavirus-related.