55 Cheesy Valentine's Day Jokes Both Kids and Adults Will Love

caucasian girls eating valentine's candy
55 Cheesy Valentine's Day JokesJose Luis Pelaez Inc - Getty Images

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Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and before you know it, the flowers you ordered months ago (hint: or right now) are going to be delivered to their doorstep and the outfit you've had picked out for weeks is going to be debuted at your amazing dinner reservation. Let's say you've already ordered his or her present, you've got all your V-Day decorations up around the house, and now what's left is planning what to tell them on the day of love. You have quite a few possibilities: Send them a heartfelt message, share with them a loving quote that captures how you feel, or entertain them with a hilarious (and most likely cheesy) Valentine's Day joke. Hopefully only the latter will leave them laughing in your face!

The majority of these jokes would leave an elementary school student in stitches, and they're sure to get at least a chuckle out of your Valentine, no matter their age—even if it's just a sympathy giggle. If you're dead set on becoming the person who only tells bad but lovable dad jokes, you'll probably fall in love with this list.

While a sweet quote translates well on paper, a joke can be a winner in basically any medium. Whether you're sharing them with your class full of students or using one to break the ice with a baddie at the bar, we have a good feeling it'll land! Read below to find an array of cheesy, fun Valentine's Day jokes to get in on those love-filled laughs.

Best Valentine's Day Dad Jokes

mixed race father and daughter taste lollipop during valentine's day
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  • "Why do skunks love Valentine's Day?" "Because they're scent-ual!"

  • "Do you know what they say about vampire romances?" "It was love at first bite."

  • "What did one grizzly say to the other?" "I love you bear-y much."

  • "Who always has a date for Valentine's Day?" "A calendar."

  • "What did one row boat ask the other?" "Are you down for a little row-mance?"

  • "What kind of dinner should you eat on Valentine's Day?" "A heart-y one."

  • "What do the French give each other for Valentine's Day?" "A big quiche."

  • "What did one tortoise say when the other one asked it to be their Valentine?" "Turt-ally."

  • "What did one Hershey's bar say to the other when they arrived 15 minutes past their reservation time?" "You're choco-late."

  • "How would you describe a colorful heart that has a collection of books?" "Well-red."

  • "What did one piece of toast say to the other?" "You're my butter half."

  • "How did the teen girl describe her goalie-boyfriend?" "As a real keeper."

  • "What did the calculator say to the pen?" "You can count on me."

  • "Why did the two scientists end up together?" "They had real chemistry."

  • "Why shouldn't you ask a pastry chef to be your Valentine?" "He'll dessert you."

  • "Why did the man get arrested?" "He stole his date's heart."

  • "Why did Cupid pick up an artichoke from the farmer's market?" "It's got a good heart."

  • "What did magnet say to the refrigerator?" "I find you very attractive."

  • "Why did the melons have to get married in a church?" "Because they cantelope."

  • "What do you call someone who falls ill on Valentine's Day?" "Lovesick."

  • "What did the sheep say to his Valentine?" "I love ewe."

Valentine's Day Knock Knock Jokes

valentine's day
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  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Olive." "Olive who?" "Olive you!"

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Al." "Al who?" "Al be your Valentine if you'll be mine."

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Frank." "Frank who?" "Frank you for being my Valentine."

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Peas." "Peas who?" "Peas be my Valentine."

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Kiss." "Kiss who?" "Me, silly!"

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Arthur." "Arthur who?" "Arthur any Valentine's gifts for me?"

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Water." "Water who?" "Water you doing on Valentine's Day?"

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Russian." "Russian who?" "I'm Russian to be your Valentine."

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Wendy." "Wendy who?" "Wendy you want to go on a date?"

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Pizza." "Pizza who?" "You have a pizza my heart."

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Soda." "Soda who?" "Soda you want to be my Valentine?"

  • "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Will you stop crying if I ask you to be my Valentine?"

Cheesy Valentine's Day Jokes

mother and young daughter crafting for valentine's day
FOTOGRAFIA INC. - Getty Images
  • "Of course I have a date for Valentine's Day—it's February 14."

  • "Did you hear about the bedbugs who just got engaged? They're getting married in the spring!"

  • "Do you know Cupid's favorite classic rock band? It's Heart."

  • "Two antennae got married last Valentine's Day. I'm unsure about the ceremony, but I heard the reception was great!"

  • "Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you're da balm."

  • "Do you know what my shirt is made of? Wife/Husband material."

  • "Loving you is like having a pair of dentures—I can't smile without you!"

  • "If we were cats, I'd want to spend all of our nine lives together."

  • "If you were a triangle, you'd be a-cute one."

  • "You're like water—I need you to survive."

  • "If you were in a deck of cards, you'd be the queen of my heart."

  • "No need to pay rent this month—you're living in my mind rent-free."

  • "Is your name Autumn? Because I am falling for you."

  • "I bought you a latte, because words cannot espresso what you mean to me."

  • "You must be a volcano, because I lava you."

  • "I just got off the phone with the police—I told them you stole my heart."

  • "You remind me of Star Wars, because Yoda only one for me."

  • "I tried to warp up how much I love you, but they don't make gift boxes that big."

  • "My dentist just called—she said you've given me a cavity because you're so sweet."

  • "Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm so happy I swiped right on you."

  • "If you were an angle, you'd be a 90 degree one, because this just feels right."

  • "You look like you could use some vitamin me."

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