50 Times Complete Strangers On The Internet Came Totally Out Of Nowhere With The Absolute Funniest Response To A Comment Last Month

1.On speed:

A picture of Earth with question "What if a needle hit earth at the speed of light?" Responses: "nothign can get at the speed of light," "light can"

2.On kissing:

"Where did you have your first kiss?" "Mouth"

3.On Napoleon:

"Napoleon was buried without his penis," "Not unusual; I think most people get buried without Napoleon's penis"

4.On the alphabet:

A series of vertical lines looking like the letter "I," with "the alphabet as seen from the side," with response, "the alphabet as seen from directly above," with a series of dashes

5.On dogs:

"Everyone talks about how animals can see colors we can't, but I wanna know wtf my dog is smelling for three minutes on the sidewalk," "That's conk creat babey!!!"

6.On language:

"What language do they speak at the center of the earth," "core-ean," "The center of the earth is around 5,430 degrees Celsius, nobody is going to leave there so they don't need a language, " "core-ean"

7.On orange:

"What rhymes with orange," "No it doesn't"

8.On butterflies:

"What gives you butterflies every single time, no matter how many times you experience it?" "Buying caterpillars"

9.On illness:

"One of my coworkers never gets sick but somehow her son always does when she is scheduled to work on a Saturday," "Probably from his weekend immune system"

10.On French toast sticks:

"Hey guys I'm making French toast sticks in the oven; I'm gonna take a quick nap, wake me up in 5 minutes so I can flip them over"; "Randy it's been 5 minutes, flip your sticks" "snnnzzzz," 'RANDY YOUR STICKS"

11.On QR codes:

"I want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of. horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick" "Modern-day Medusa"

12.On Snape:

Snape (snail tape), shown as a tape dispenser with two eyes making the front look a bit like a snake's head, with response: "This is not what I pictured Snape looking like when.I read the books"

13.On werewolves:

"Do werewolves have toe beans," "Of course they have toe beans, what else do they suck on," "If there is a god, mine is surely a trickster, giving me the miracle of sight and of comprehension, only for me to be cursed to use it on what you just said"

14.On garlic:

"If you ever feel said, just remember my friend and his girlfriend peeled 102 garlic cloves for a recipe and then realized it said 1 to 2 garlic cloves," with a rack of cloves shown, with response: "that sounds like almost enough garlic to me""I li

15.On ginger ale:

"I like ginger ale, light carbonation and flavor — it's a neat little drink lol," "tea," "no, ginger ale," "no, the post is tea," It's about ginger ale"

16.On the big sleep:

"You might've been indirectly responsible for someone's death and not even know it," "Oh I hope it wasn't that guy I stabbed"

17.On true connection:

"Connects our nipples together so my heartbeat can sync with yours," "That activates Samsung smart transfer and you get my contacts"

18.On old people:

"Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs," "My brother's grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one Boochie; I hate its immortal suffering"

19.On Paul:

From Paul Pawlowski: "nobody likes you, nobody loves you, nobody think you're pretty, nobody wants to talk to you, nobody wants you to live; don't worry my name is nobody," "Your name is Paul Pawlowski"

20.On curses:

"Kill them with kindness: wrong; CURSE OF RA," followed by hieroglyphics; "This is just Gardiner's sign list of Egyptian hieroglyphics A1-B2 with a couple of repeats at the end," and someone else gives the English alphabet, plus S, P, Q, R at the end

21.On English:

"What is an English word you really like?" "Ubiquitous," "Dude, I keep seeing this word everywhere!"

22.On hotness:

"What's the hottest thing you've seen in person?" "Same for everyone: the sun"

23.On medication:

"I'm on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I'm driving: my friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole; he said 'to the left,' and I mumbled 'take it back now y'all' and hit the pothole straight on," "Literally crying"

24.On pools:

"My upper-middle-class in-laws are blowing my mind that they pee in pools and think it's normal; "Live your life presuming everybody else does; I haven't been in a hot tub in 20 years: like a gosh-darned"W piss crock-pot cooking people stew"

25.On 200 pounds:

"What is heavier, 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?" "The feathers: 200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds"

26.On sport differences:

"Catcher gets hit in the head iwth a baseball bat, continues to play; football player hits ground with helmet, out 2/3 weeks," "One's a stick, the other's a planet"

27.On astrology:

Someone says they've been having a lot of feelings lately and want to know which planets to blame it on, and someone says "Earth"

28.On self-control:

"True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn"; response: "Why would the movie eat my popcorn"

29.On beautiful pet names:

Printout of tests, including "Dental Prophylaxis Everything Bagel," "Exam Presurgical Everything Bagel," "Anesthesia General Everything Bagel," "Rabies Everything Bagel," w/caption: "My cat's name makes her vet bills look like fucked-up breakfast orders"

30.On sloths:

"Sloths aren't lazy; they're just saving their energy; today that energy is released"; response: "this is singlehandedly the scariest fucking post on this hellsite what the fuck"

31.On achievements:

A cake with icing writing: "Congration you done it"

32.On milk:

"I sometimes drink milk straight out of the container"; response: "The COW?!?"

33.On names:

"Looking for gender-neutral pet names"; response: Abu Dhabi

34.On language:

"Bilingual people, what is ia thing that non-bilingual will never understand?" Response: "A second language"

35.On slipups:

Four examples, including "When I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip up in real life and call people 'My lord'" and "Yesterday I went to Wendy's and the girl said 'Welcome to McDonald's' and then just sighed"

36.On relaxation:

Cartoon with several Pokémon characters at a body of water, with Dragonite the focus, with caption "unbothered, moisturized, happy in my lane, focused, flourishing"; comment, "Pikachu is drowning" and response: "This ain't about him"

37.On bogs:

"I want to decompose in a bog" well you clearly don't know the first thing about bogs, clout chaser: the bog is like the opposite of decomposition

38.On costs:

"Realistically, how much would it cost to build an IRL Mechagodzilla?" "At least 1"

39.On medicine:

"Consuming two things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious; I imagined mixing a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6-hour sleep and a 5-hour energy for a 1 hour nap"; response: "mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil"

40.On facial hair:

"Boys who can pull off facial hair are hot"; response: "I think you're supposed to use a razor"

41.On breathing:

"Humans are involuntary breathers, right?" "Well, not anymore asshole"

42.On counting:

"When you count your lips, don't touch till a million"; response: "I get there before two!! 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi"

43.On fire:

"Has anyone tried to see if chimpanzees or bonobos could be taught to fully master fire?" Response: "this one guy did and he was chained to a mountain to have an eagle eat his liver every day"

44.On glasses:

"People associate wearing glasses with being smart, but you have to fail a test to get them"; response: "Hell, they even let us look at the answers"

45.On getting older:

"Unmarried, childless and approach 30 — what do you do on weekends?" Response: "Does 24 count as approaching 30?" and "As long as you're under 30, you're always approaching 30"

46.On degrees:

"Someone has to have a degree to cut your hair but not to cook your food"; response: "Cooking typically takes hundreds of degrees; try cooking at egg at 1 degree, yuck"

47.On partying:

"u ever go take a piss at a party and as soon as u close the door u feel like ur in a different dimension"; response: "save point"

48.On goodbyes:

"Airport employees, what is the saddest goodbye you've witnessed?" "responses: "A Marine saying goodbye to his dog"; "Where was the dog flying to?"

49.On tea:

"China, 2,500 years ago: guy 1: hey what should we put in this boiling water; guy 2, an absolute fucking genius: uh, leaves"; response: "did he ever come back and answer the question"

I see what you did there.

50.And on bugs:

Close-up of a green insect; "What is this?" "An insect," "What type," "A green one," "Yes but what's its name?"