15 LinkedIn Recruiters Who Have GOT To Be Kidding Me

Looking for a job can be exhausting, but recruiters are here to help! Well, usually. Most of the time, recruiters can get your foot in the door at a new gig. Other times, they ARE the door...and it's locked. Here are 16 screenshots from r/linkedinlunatics and r/recruitinghell of recruiters who make me want to leave the job market altogether and live in the woods:

1.This recruiter who can't fathom why someone needs to know how much a job — something people do to get paid — actually pays:

"Thank u, next!"
r/LinkedInLunatics/ / Via reddit.com

2.This recruiter who implied not getting hired for a job means you're a bad human:

"Ghosted? You probably deserve it"
r/LinkedInLunatics / Via reddit.com

3.This speedy recruiter who supposedly filled a position in record time:

"Unfortunately, this position has been filled."

4.This sudden case of memory loss:

"Do you have implementation experience?"
u/slut4sparklingwater / Via reddit.com


"For what your resume ?"
u/icserx / Via reddit.com

6.I have a lot of trouble believing an actual 7-year-old human child realistically said, "rapid turnaround thanks to a massive talent pool."

"Hire True A-Players, not Just *A* Player"
u/nufoniia / Via reddit.com

7.This recruiter needs to slowly back away from the caps lock:

u/spiciestkitten / Via reddit.com

8.Does everyone lose their grasp on time while struggling to put together IKEA furniture? Yes, of course. Is it an excuse to miss an interview? No!

"I was building some Ikea Furniture and I completely forgot!"
u/JMurrayRepairs / Via reddit.com

9.This job interview comes with mandatory marriage counseling:

"Spousal Interview"
u/Wise_Respect399 / Via reddit.com

10.Just imagine getting ratio'd on LinkedIn of all places:

"I do feel like it's disrespectful to interview with multiple companies at the same time"

11.🗣️🗣️🗣️ List the pay ON the job posting:

"sorry , can we connect and discuss"
u/living_or_dead / Via reddit.com

12.This passive aggressive recruiter who responded to a candidate like a jilted ex:

"Wow ok"
u/pigeoneatingchips / Via reddit.com

13.This application that would immediately put me in an existential coma:

"Reason for Living"
u/Sugartina / Via reddit.com

14.This recruiter who wanted to use a candidate's job application as a dating app:

"Too bad we live on opposite sides of the country because I would totally want to get to know you better."
u/mermaiddiva26 / Via Twitter: @naydinsky

15.And finally, this recruiter who is, in the words of Taylor Swift, so casually cruel in the name of being honest:

"I am finished"