15 LGBTQ+ Influencers Share Coming-Out Advice

Photo credit: YE AUNG THU - Getty Images
Photo credit: YE AUNG THU - Getty Images

From Redbook

The process of figuring out and accepting one's sexuality can be an intimidating experience with various struggles and hardships along the way. But regardless of the journey, "coming out" is a celebration of self-acceptance. It's coming to terms with the person you authentically identify as and releasing that into the world, and no matter your personal situation, you're never alone.

To make what can be a very nerve-wracking step feel a little easier overwhelming, we spoke to 15 influencers in the LGBTQ+ community, who graciously shared with us their best piece of coming out advice, in honor of Pride Month.

15. Deep down, you'll know when the time is right.

"The bravest thing you can do in this world is be yourself. Listen to your gut, it will know when the time is right. Be brave, vulnerable, and authentic. Take deep breaths and know that there are so many people who can’t wait to celebrate who you are." - @codyjyoung

14. Don't let anyone pressure you.

"It’s important to come out when you feel comfortable and safe to do so. It’s your decision how and where and when. And once you do come out, you can be sure to be welcomed into a diverse community full of love and support." - @travelsofadam

13. In today's digital age, you never have to be truly alone.

"Although most of the time coming out is much easier than people expect, it’s not always safe. I get tons of messages from people in places where homosexuality is a crime. As much as it sucks to say, sometimes the best option is to wait until they’ve found a place where they’ll be okay properly expressing themselves. Even in those extreme cases, there’s always at least one person that can be trusted and confided in. If not, there’s always the internet to anonymously connect with people having similar experiences." - @maxisms

12. Find strength in support.

"Coming out is something that LGBTQ+ people have to do many times in our lives in many different situations. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, but a face-to-face interaction, if possible, or at least a FaceTime or phone call, I find, is best. If you’re worried about a negative reaction, it’s helpful to have a trusted ally with you or close by, and please remember that if someone truly loves you, they will embrace you for exactly who you are, even if it takes some time." - @feminist_fatale

11. Surround yourself with allies.

"Don’t worry about labels. It’s your personal journey, so take it at your own pace! If you’re nervous to speak to your family, make sure you’re in a safe environment and bring a friend who’s supportive. Know that you have a community of allies and you’re not alone." - @ivanka.dekoning

10. It's a personal process.

"Coming out is a personal journey - spend less time comparing yourself to others, and focus on putting yourself first." - @vtothepowerof2

9. As the saying goes, 'Rome wasn't built in a day.'

"My best advice for someone coming out of the closet would be to be patient with your parents or guardians. Just like you didn't accept yourself fully overnight, it might take your parents or guardians a little time to adjust & that's okay!" - @mikerizzi

8. Put your safety first.

"For me, and for many, "coming out" was not a singular event. There was definitely the "first time" I came out, but I come out almost every day - when interacting with new people or experiencing new environments, and each time has its own set of circumstances that put me in a position of weighing my safety, risk, or harm. Simply being able to walk down the street and holding my girlfriend's hand in NY or LA is not something I take for granted, because it's not always something I'm able to do. I'm grateful to live with a lot of privilege that allows me to be openly gay and come out more often than not -- and want to continue the fight to make sure that is something all LGBTQ people are able to do safely." - @nicolettemason

7. Do it for yourself and no one else.

"I think coming out is for you only, in a sense. Don’t come out just because you’re scared of what someone else would say, come [out] just for you. Coming out, to me, is very important. It shows confidence, strength, and courage." - @poeticdrugs

6. You get to pick your own time to shine.

"I think it’s important to find support 'cause coming out sometimes can be rough, but don’t feel pressured to come out. Only you get to decide the time, place, person, reason, and method to do it. Be yourself and don’t let others opinions change that!" - @lagzdina19

5. Don't be afraid to dive out of your comfort zone.

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"I’d say that coming out is never an easy situation, but since when is doing something important for yourself easy or comfy? I believe we’re all here for a reason and you can’t find your purpose until you start being honest about who you are to yourself and the people you interact with. So stop being afraid of being vulnerable with yourself and with others, and embrace the fact that you are unique. You can’t begin your journey if you aren’t being you, so start living your truth and have a happy pride month y’all!" - @iamzoeyluna

4. Find peace within yourself first.

"Self-love isn’t about validation of your self from others. Make sure you’re safe, find that inner strength, and come out." - @arielle_scarcella

3. Don't suppress your own happiness.


"Before I came out to friends and family, I kept giving myself the same pep talk- ‘if they truly love me, they will love everything that makes me, me.’ Even that wasn’t enough to get me to admit I was gay. I had to prioritize ME, what would make ME happy instead of worrying about the potential animosity from someone else in my life. It’s your life. Don’t miss out on your own happiness." - @pk514

2. Start small and work your way out.

"Coming out can be one of the scariest and most amazing things you can do. Our advice is to only do it when you’re good and ready to - and to start with some[one] you know and trust who will be able to support you as you come out to more people." - @thetravellinggays

1. Remember self-care.


"Take lots of walks. Something that is so easy to forget when coming out is that you still need to take care of yourself. Time, space, and room to reflect and process are extremely necessary gifts." - @michaelandmatt

Suicide rates among teens and young adults within the LGBTQ+ community are some of the highest in the country. If you or anyone you know is struggling with their sexuality and/or has suicidal thoughts, you can call or text The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386. It's a toll-free and confidential resource.

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