12 guest habits that are guaranteed to annoy ski chalet hosts
Poor chalet hosts – they're some of the hardest working people in any ski resort, cooking and cleaning for expectant guests every day with only the prospect of snatching an hour here or there on the mountain for sustenance.
As chalet guests, we waft in and out with scant thought for our industrious hosts. But just know, as you enjoy your three-course meal and get stuck into quaffing litres of chalet wine, this is what they're really thinking.
Here are the 12 things that chalet hosts can’t stand:
1. Turning up late for dinner
A chalet host’s timetable of chores is carefully calculated over the season to ensure everything is done as efficiently and easily as possible. Getting distracted by après fun up the mountain and turning up hours after the scheduled dinner time, but still expecting to be fed, plays havoc with that system. As well as noting the sheer rudeness, it's worth remembering that when dinner is finished, everyone else can simply roll into bed – apart from the host, who still has to wash everything up, tidy and get as much as possible ready for next day’s breakfast.
2. Midnight feasts
Chalet guests with post-night out munchies raiding the fridge can seriously mess up the chalet meal plan – what, no eggs for breakfast? – and potentially cause a mess in the kitchen which, inevitably, the host will be left to clear up.
3. Inane questions
"What do you do in the summer?" Just. Don't. Ask.
4. Tipping fail
Common practice is to tip your chalet host at the end of the week with cold, hard cash. Therefore, it is no mild surprise that hosts aren’t the biggest fans of guests who don't or, possibly worse, show their appreciation with things other than money. A bar of soap is not a tip, people.
5. Tanning drama
Applying fake tan and getting in the chalet hot tub leads to two disgusting things – it turns the water a weird brown/orange colour and then collects in the filter as a solid that the poor chalet host will have to scrape off with their hands. Now that's what we call a hot (tub) mess.
6. Regressing to a teenager
What makes grown adults revert to teenage behaviour when staying in a chalet, leaving clothes and belongings strewn wantonly about their bedroom? Who can say. But those who leave the room a complete tip so that it's hard to clean, yet later complain that it's not been done properly, risk the wrath of even the most chilled-out hosts.
7. Wearing boots indoors
Chalets have a boot room for a reason. Guests should only tramp into the chalet proper while still wearing wet, snowy, mucky ski or snowboard boots if they really want to watch their chalet host die a little bit inside.
8. Expecting miracles
"What's being done about the lack of snow?" "They've closed the gondola – when will it open again?" "I have a cold – how can I get rid of it?" Chalet hosts are not supernatural beings capable of controlling the weather, reopening chairlifts or curing all ailments. They do not even know whether it will be cold at the top when they, like you, are at the bottom. They are just chalet hosts.
9. Fussy eaters
No one can help being a dairy/gluten/refined sugar-free vegan. Just don't expect a chalet host to be happy about it. (Especially if said dairy/guten/sugar-free vegan changes their mind about what they can eat at the sight of a nice cake.)
10. Taking the booze
Taking home the dregs of that duty-free bottle of Gordon's gin is a guest’s prerogative – but leaving it for the chalet host instead earns major brownie points.
11. Commandeer their day off
No, a chalet host does not want to ski with the guests on their one precious day off in the week. Especially not if said guests are going to stick to the most boring blue runs in resort and treat them as a free ski guide. If guests insist on doing this, common decency demands that they at least offer to buy their host lunch.
12. Treating them like a skivvy
A chalet host is not a slave. Here endeth the lesson.
